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DER YIDDISH-VINKL October 3, 2003

By now, readers of this column must be fairly well acquainted with the laugh-evoking, thought-provoking rhymes of Stanley Siegelman. Now, in the spirit of “equal opportunity” and fair play, Siegelman comes forth with a mirthful suggestion, inspired by Der Yidish Vinkl.

Tvinkl, Tvinkl, Goyish Vinkl

Zol mir ale zayn tsufridn

Mit a vinkl nor far yidn?

“S’iz nit yoysherdik, s’iz nit ‘fair’!

Ver ken zogn ‘au contraire’?”

Mitn “vinkl,” goyim blonde,

Shrayen brudik! S’iz a shande.

Loz zey zayn nit opgeshnitn!

Loz zey zayn antisemitn!

Ale mentshn — shvartse, vayse,

Darfn vinklekh far zeyer mayse!

Yidn, goyim hobn tsvey hent,

Zey shvitsn ven der zumer brent.

Zey tsitern ven es vert gants kalt

Zey kvetshn ven zey vern alt

Zey vern krank, zey gisn blut

Zey veynen ven es geyt nisht gut!

Ven hungerik, zey darfn esn

Fun tsoris kenen zey nit fargesn

Yidn, goyim zaynen mentshn

Ale darfn zis “attention.”

Der Forverts, eynmol Socialist,

Muz prezentirn, gants umzist

A “vinkl” column far dem goy!

Oyb nit, mir klogn “Oy, oy, oy.”

Twinkle, Twinkle, Gentile Vinkl

Discrimination? Gross abuse?

A Vinkl column just for Jews?

It isn’t just, it isn’t fair!

Please do not argue “au contraire.”

Deprived of Vinkl, gentiles might

Indeed bewail, bemoan their plight.

Who cares if they’re not circumcised?

What if, by them, Jews are despised?

All God’s creatures, whate’er their hue

Should have a Vinkl — just like the Jew.

Both Jew and gentile have two hands

They both perspire in desert sands

They shiver when the weather’s cold

They groan, complain, when they are old.

They suffer sickness. And they bleed

They cry for help when they’re in need.

When famine strikes, they search for food

When troubles come, they sulk and brood.

In short, they’re all-too-human mentshen

Who hunger for some kind attention.

So, Forward, show some empathy

Dear editor, make a decree

Create a Vinkl, just for goyim

Those columns — Let them all enjoy ’em!

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