Fake Shofars Blow No Good


NEWS ITEM: Some Israeli religious authorities are concerned about the recurrence of a problem that came to light last year: the sale of non-kosher shofars.

It clearly states in Jewish law
That shofars must be free of flaw.
Yet thousands flood the market (true!)
With imperfections masked by glue.
(This means purveyors try to hide
The cracks and crevices inside.)

Not even trained ecclesiasts
Can pinpoint unsound shofar blasts.
Who can be sure, who can vouchsafe
The horn that’s blowing isn’t treyf?
Have we been victimized by scam,
Fake plastic that resembles ram?

A shofar can indeed bestow
A chilling blast fortissimo,
But loudness matters not a whit
If origin is counterfeit.
This renders ceremonies nil,
Such shandeh! Unacceptable!

If this distressing problem grows,
Let’s hope that Jews won’t come to blows!

Written by

Stanley Siegelman

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