DER YIDDISH-VINKL April 14, 2006

A WEEKLY BRIEFING ON THE MOTHER TONGUE

Published April 14, 2006, issue of April 14, 2006.
  • Print
  • Share Share

The inimitable Stanley Siegelman has returned to Der Vinkl to report on a new trend among Russian Jews immigrating to the United States: They are undergoing ritual circumcision in significant numbers. The goal is to affirm in a demonstrable way their allegiance to Orthodox Judaism.

Di Ruskis Kumen

Fun Rusland, take, kumen zey.

Fil yidn yetst, tsum USA.

Di mener geyen oyf krume fis:

Vos zukhn zey? Gevald, a bris!

“Ruf dem moyel, mit zayn meser!”

Shrayen zey, “We mean it, yes sir!”

Iz dos modne? Iz dos “sad?”

— A miskayt bloyz fun Leningrad?

Efsher vert men opgeshnitn

Nor tsu vayzn anti-s’mitn?

Ven der moyel derlangt a zets

Zogn Ruskis “Da!” (Keyn “Nyets”)

Oy, gloybt mir, fraynt, es tut gants vey!

Bay’m Rusishn man, s’iz dokh “OK”!

Der moyl arbet shver; er kvelt,

Vayl er fardint a zak mit gelt.

Nor an oremer Rus, mit der leydiker shisl,

Er kumt oys epes kurts a bisl

Tsu orem zayn iz nit keyn “crime”!

Far yedn Rus, it’s Milah* time”!

*Brit milah is ritual circumcision, more commonly called a bris. “It’s Miller time” is the slogan of a beer manufacturing company.

The Russians Are Coming

To U.S. shores, these Russians rush.

Their goal’s enough to make you blush:

On circumcision they’re intent

Their Judaism to augment.

We seek a “mohel,” they allege,

“Who’ll put us on the cutting edge.”

Is this phenomenon a fad

That spread from Minsk to Leningrad?

Or is it just a sudden surge

Of ethnic pride, a pointless urge?

Post-op, do Rooskies have regret?

Unanimous they answer, “Nyet!”

The process hurts, we all know where.

It is true pain the Russians bear.

The mohels, busy as can be,

Feel free to charge a hefty fee,

While cash poor immigrants report

They’re often prone to come up short.

No matter what, the Russians chime:

“We’re resolute! It’s Milah time.”






Find us on Facebook!
  • Lusia Horowitz left pre-state Israel to fight fascism in Spain — and wound up being captured by the Nazis and sent to die at Auschwitz. Share her remarkable story — told in her letters.
  • Vered Guttman doesn't usually get nervous about cooking for 20 people, even for Passover. But last night was a bit different. She was cooking for the Obamas at the White House Seder.
  • A grumpy Jewish grandfather is wary of his granddaughter's celebrating Easter with the in-laws. But the Seesaw says it might just make her appreciate Judaism more. What do you think?
  • “Twist and Shout.” “Under the Boardwalk.” “Brown-Eyed Girl.” What do these great songs have in common? A forgotten Jewish songwriter. We tracked him down.
  • What can we learn from tragedies like the rampage in suburban Kansas City? For one thing, we must keep our eyes on the real threats that we as Jews face.
  • When is a legume not necessarily a legume? Philologos has the answer.
  • "Sometime in my childhood, I realized that the Exodus wasn’t as remote or as faceless as I thought it was, because I knew a former slave. His name was Hersh Nemes, and he was my grandfather." Share this moving Passover essay!
  • Getting ready for Seder? Chag Sameach! http://jd.fo/q3LO2
  • "We are not so far removed from the tragedies of the past, and as Jews sit down to the Seder meal, this event is a teachable moment of how the hatred of Jews-as-Other is still alive and well. It is not realistic to be complacent."
  • Aperitif Cocktail, Tequila Shot, Tom Collins or Vodka Soda — Which son do you relate to?
  • Elvis craved bacon on tour. Michael Jackson craved matzo ball soup. We've got the recipe.
  • This is the face of hatred.
  • What could be wrong with a bunch of guys kicking back with a steak and a couple of beers and talking about the Seder? Try everything. #ManSeder
  • BREAKING: Smirking killer singled out Jews for death in suburban Kansas City rampage. 3 die in bloody rampage at JCC and retirement home.
  • Real exodus? For Mimi Minsky, it's screaming kids and demanding hubby on way down to Miami, not matzo in the desert.
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?








You may also be interested in our English-language newsletters:













We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.