The inimitable Stanley Siegelman has returned to Der Vinkl to report on a new trend among Russian Jews immigrating to the United States: They are undergoing ritual circumcision in significant numbers. The goal is to affirm in a demonstrable way their allegiance to Orthodox Judaism.
Di Ruskis Kumen
Fun Rusland, take, kumen zey.
Fil yidn yetst, tsum USA .
Di mener geyen oyf krume fis:
Vos zukhn zey? Gevald, a bris!
“Ruf dem moyel, mit zayn meser!”
Shrayen zey, “ We mean it, yes sir !”
Iz dos modne? Iz dos “sad?”
— A miskayt bloyz fun Leningrad?
Efsher vert men opgeshnitn
Nor tsu vayzn anti-s’mitn?
Ven der moyel derlangt a zets
Zogn Ruskis “Da!” (Keyn “Nyets”)
Oy, gloybt mir, fraynt, es tut gants vey!
Bay’m Rusishn man, s’iz dokh “ OK ”!
Der moyl arbet shver; er kvelt,
Vayl er fardint a zak mit gelt.
Nor an oremer Rus, mit der leydiker shisl,
Er kumt oys epes kurts a bisl
Tsu orem zayn iz nit keyn “crime”!
Far yedn Rus, it’s Milah * time”!
*Brit milah is ritual circumcision, more commonly called a bris. “It’s Miller time” is the slogan of a beer manufacturing company.
The Russians Are Coming
To U.S. shores, these Russians rush.
Their goal’s enough to make you blush:
On circumcision they’re intent
Their Judaism to augment.
We seek a “mohel,” they allege,
“Who’ll put us on the cutting edge.”
Is this phenomenon a fad
That spread from Minsk to Leningrad?
Or is it just a sudden surge
Of ethnic pride, a pointless urge?
Post-op, do Rooskies have regret?
Unanimous they answer, “ Nyet !”
The process hurts, we all know where.
It is true pain the Russians bear.
The mohels, busy as can be,
Feel free to charge a hefty fee,
While cash poor immigrants report
They’re often prone to come up short.
No matter what, the Russians chime:
“We’re resolute! It’s Milah time.”