DER YIDDISH-VINKL April 14, 2006

The inimitable Stanley Siegelman has returned to Der Vinkl to report on a new trend among Russian Jews immigrating to the United States: They are undergoing ritual circumcision in significant numbers. The goal is to affirm in a demonstrable way their allegiance to Orthodox Judaism.

Di Ruskis Kumen

Fun Rusland, take, kumen zey.

Fil yidn yetst, tsum USA .

Di mener geyen oyf krume fis:

Vos zukhn zey? Gevald, a bris!

“Ruf dem moyel, mit zayn meser!”

Shrayen zey, “ We mean it, yes sir !”

Iz dos modne? Iz dos “sad?”

— A miskayt bloyz fun Leningrad?

Efsher vert men opgeshnitn

Nor tsu vayzn anti-s’mitn?

Ven der moyel derlangt a zets

Zogn Ruskis “Da!” (Keyn “Nyets”)

Oy, gloybt mir, fraynt, es tut gants vey!

Bay’m Rusishn man, s’iz dokh “ OK ”!

Der moyl arbet shver; er kvelt,

Vayl er fardint a zak mit gelt.

Nor an oremer Rus, mit der leydiker shisl,

Er kumt oys epes kurts a bisl

Tsu orem zayn iz nit keyn “crime”!

Far yedn Rus, it’s Milah * time”!

*Brit milah is ritual circumcision, more commonly called a bris. “It’s Miller time” is the slogan of a beer manufacturing company.

The Russians Are Coming

To U.S. shores, these Russians rush.

Their goal’s enough to make you blush:

On circumcision they’re intent

Their Judaism to augment.

We seek a “mohel,” they allege,

“Who’ll put us on the cutting edge.”

Is this phenomenon a fad

That spread from Minsk to Leningrad?

Or is it just a sudden surge

Of ethnic pride, a pointless urge?

Post-op, do Rooskies have regret?

Unanimous they answer, “ Nyet !”

The process hurts, we all know where.

It is true pain the Russians bear.

The mohels, busy as can be,

Feel free to charge a hefty fee,

While cash poor immigrants report

They’re often prone to come up short.

No matter what, the Russians chime:

“We’re resolute! It’s Milah time.”

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DER YIDDISH-VINKL April 14, 2006

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