The Debate Over Lox

Siegelmania

By Stanley Siegelman

Published March 25, 2010.
  • Print
  • Share Share

NEWS ITEM: A group of ultra-Orthodox rabbis are arguing that salmon is not kosher because it may contain harmful parasites. Other rabbis have disagreed.


Some rabbis, ultra-Orthodox,
Decreed that Jews should eat no lox.
The food, they said, is under blight
For harboring a parasite.

“Lox isn’t safe! It’s plainly treyf,”
These theologians now vouchsafe.

But other rabbis disagreed
With findings of this far-right creed.
The stage is set for a debate
On what becomes of lox — its fate!

O’er matters such as this we’re torn.
From food-fights are great schisms born.
Let’s not regard as laughing-stocks
The folks who argue about lox!
(Expect, though, jokes and japes and knocks,
Like: “Don’t jail Jews, for they eat locks!”)

If lox is from our tables barred,
Our taste-buds would be hit, but hard!

Quite dominant in this debate
Are Jews who think the bagel’s great.
To them, the bagel’s firmly wed
To lox, in ways unlimited.
Lox-lovers, then, would be most wise
To seek “pro-bagelers” as allies.
With cream-cheese fressers they’re allied,
For lox, they’d do a homicide!
The cream-cheese addict thinks a schmear.
Makes worldly troubles disappear!
(We all should think outside the box
On matters that pertain to lox.)

The topic, “lox,” perhaps should be
Divorced from all theology.


The Jewish Daily Forward welcomes reader comments in order to promote thoughtful discussion on issues of importance to the Jewish community. In the interest of maintaining a civil forum, The Jewish Daily Forwardrequires that all commenters be appropriately respectful toward our writers, other commenters and the subjects of the articles. Vigorous debate and reasoned critique are welcome; name-calling and personal invective are not. While we generally do not seek to edit or actively moderate comments, our spam filter prevents most links and certain key words from being posted and The Jewish Daily Forward reserves the right to remove comments for any reason.





Find us on Facebook!
  • "If you want my advice: more Palestinians, more checkpoints, just more reality." What do you think?
  • Happy birthday Barbra Streisand! Our favorite Funny Girl turns 72 today.
  • Clueless parenting advice from the star of "Clueless."
  • Why won't the city give an answer?
  • BREAKING NEWS: Israel has officially suspended peace talks with the Palestinians.
  • Can you guess what the most boring job in the army is?
  • What the foolish rabbi of Chelm teaches us about Israel and the Palestinian unity deal:
  • Mazel tov to Idina Menzel on making Variety "Power of Women" cover! http://jd.fo/f3Mms
  • "How much should I expect him and/or ask him to participate? Is it enough to have one parent reciting the prayers and observing the holidays?" What do you think?
  • New York and Montreal have been at odds for far too long. Stop the bagel wars, sign our bagel peace treaty!
  • Really, can you blame them?
  • “How I Stopped Hating Women of the Wall and Started Talking to My Mother.” Will you see it?
  • Taglit-Birthright Israel is redefining who they consider "Jewish" after a 17% drop in registration from 2011-2013. Is the "propaganda tag" keeping young people away?
  • Happy birthday William Shakespeare! Turns out, the Bard knew quite a bit about Jews.
  • Would you get to know racists on a first-name basis if you thought it might help you prevent them from going on rampages, like the recent shooting in Kansas City?
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?




















We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.