Three Jews, One Bench

Siegelmania

By Stanley Siegelman

Published August 05, 2010, issue of August 20, 2010.

NEWS ITEM: Elena Kagan has been confirmed by the Senate as a justice of the U.S. Supreme Court, joining two other Jews in that role. For the first time, three Jews will be serving on the court simultaneously. The other justices are Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Stephen Breyer.


To say the least, we are surprised!
Three justices are Judaized!
It seems, almost, they’re heaven-sent,
Like prophets from Old Testament!
There’s Ginsburg, Breyer, Kagan! Three!
A most impressive trinity!

Each one’s a jurisprudent whiz,
These Jewish-prudent justices!
They’re forthright, geared for any fray,
From them you’ll never hear “oy vey
Or variations likewise drear,
As in the cry “Oy vey iz mir!”

No doubt behind closed doors they’ll schmooze
(A common attribute of Jews).
Maybe they’ll group to joke and josh
And have a cordial little nosh.
Some festive Friday night, perhaps,
They’ll share a bit of wine or schnapps?

At such events, it would make sense
To practice framing arguments
For purposes of keeping sharp.
(Fit topics might be banks or TARP,
Or maybe even Roe v. Wade,
A case that still incites tirade).

No coffee-klatch or friendly tea
Could guarantee they’d all agree
On any point of legal lore:
Through verbal clash — that’s how Jews score!
(A little halvah for dessert
Is à propos and couldn’t hurt.)

In Yiddish will they sometimes speak?
Or is that language to them Greek?
As landsleit they might fraternize,
A tribal twinkle in their eyes.
They’ll quickly learn, as well befits,
Which one is Litvak, who Galitz.

Ad-Jew-dicators, they will bring
Refined Talmudic reasoning
To tasks of weighing arguments
And issuance of writs, dissents.
The Yiddish kop they will apply
To legalisms clarify.

Their quest for justice won’t be quenched!
These judges are, indeed, well benched!



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