Our first Semitic president!
Such was his ultimate intent.

But now we’re shaken to the roots
To learn about those prostitutes.

His stance of moral rectitude
Is shattered — now he’s seen as lewd.

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This great reformer, this crusader,
Has morphed into a dark Darth Vader!

He’s laid low by a sin that’s scarlet:
Having caucus with a harlot.

How sad to see this avatar
Get caught with hand in cookie-jar!

He couldn’t shun the calls-and-becks,
Enticements to illicit sex!

’Tis shameful, being trapped sans pants,
A blow to pride and arrogance!

Now cries and sighs of deep lament
Are heard in halls of government,

As appointees, o’erwhelmed with sobs,
Grow fearful they might lose their jobs.

Oh, organs of the state, farewell,
Like Eliot, you rose and fell!

Spitzer’s Narishkeyt

S’iz take okh-un-vey — a klog —
A nekhtiker (un biter) tog!

Zayn hofn, nebekh, gantz farbrent,
Er ken nit vern prezident,

In Vaysn Hoyz der ershter yid.
A shmutsike zokh iz “vat he did.”

Mit nafkes Spitzer hot geshpilt,
Yetst iz er ful mit veynerish “guilt.”

Er gleybt nor in a kush, a knish,
S’iz tsayt far tokhis-oyfn-tish.

Gekhapt mit on keyn gatkes (“pants”),
Er muz bashtroft zayn far “romance.”

Kumt shoyn an F.B.I. bufel?
Un efsher geyt er glaykh tsu “jail”?

M’fregt im, “Eliot, far vos?”
Zogt er: “Ikh bin der balebos!”

Der “boss” nisht mer! Er blaybt sha-shtil,
Vayl er iz in a “pickle” (dill).

Khaverim shvitsen yetst mit blut,
Zeyere shteles meglekh, oy, kaput.

Der goyrl haynt fun yeder “pol”:
Der oyfheyb un der unterfol!

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