Spitzer’s Folly

By Stanley Siegelman

Published March 21, 2008, issue of March 28, 2008.
  • Print
  • Share Share

Our first Semitic president!
Such was his ultimate intent.

But now we’re shaken to the roots
To learn about those prostitutes.

His stance of moral rectitude
Is shattered — now he’s seen as lewd.

This great reformer, this crusader,
Has morphed into a dark Darth Vader!

He’s laid low by a sin that’s scarlet:
Having caucus with a harlot.

How sad to see this avatar
Get caught with hand in cookie-jar!

He couldn’t shun the calls-and-becks,
Enticements to illicit sex!

’Tis shameful, being trapped sans pants,
A blow to pride and arrogance!

Now cries and sighs of deep lament
Are heard in halls of government,

As appointees, o’erwhelmed with sobs,
Grow fearful they might lose their jobs.

Oh, organs of the state, farewell,
Like Eliot, you rose and fell!


Spitzer’s Narishkeyt

S’iz take okh-un-vey — a klog —
A nekhtiker (un biter) tog!

Zayn hofn, nebekh, gantz farbrent,
Er ken nit vern prezident,

In Vaysn Hoyz der ershter yid.
A shmutsike zokh iz “vat he did.”

Mit nafkes Spitzer hot geshpilt,
Yetst iz er ful mit veynerish “guilt.”

Er gleybt nor in a kush, a knish,
S’iz tsayt far tokhis-oyfn-tish.

Gekhapt mit on keyn gatkes (“pants”),
Er muz bashtroft zayn far “romance.”

Kumt shoyn an F.B.I. bufel?
Un efsher geyt er glaykh tsu “jail”?

M’fregt im, “Eliot, far vos?”
Zogt er: “Ikh bin der balebos!”

Der “boss” nisht mer! Er blaybt sha-shtil,
Vayl er iz in a “pickle” (dill).

Khaverim shvitsen yetst mit blut,
Zeyere shteles meglekh, oy, kaput.

Der goyrl haynt fun yeder “pol”:
Der oyfheyb un der unterfol!






Find us on Facebook!
  • Step into the Iron Dome with Tuvia Tenenbom.
  • What do you think of Wonder Woman's new look?
  • "She said that Ruven Barkan, a Conservative rabbi, came into her classroom, closed the door and turned out the lights. He asked the class of fourth graders to lie on the floor and relax their bodies. Then, he asked them to pray for abused children." Read Paul Berger's compelling story about a #Savannah community in turmoil:
  • “Everything around me turns orange, then a second of silence, then a bomb goes off!" First installment of Walid Abuzaid’s account of the war in #Gaza:
  • Is boredom un-Jewish?
  • Let's face it: there's really only one Katz's Delicatessen.
  • "Dear Diaspora Jews, I’m sorry to break it to you, but you can’t have it both ways. You can’t insist that every Jew is intrinsically part of the Israeli state and that Jews are also intrinsically separate from, and therefore not responsible for, the actions of the Israeli state." Do you agree?
  • Are Michelangelo's paintings anti-Semitic? Meet the Jews of the Sistine Chapel: http://jd.fo/i4UDl
  • What does the Israel-Hamas war look like through Haredi eyes?
  • Was Israel really shocked to find there are networks of tunnels under Gaza?
  • “Going to Berlin, I had a sense of something waiting there for me. I was searching for something and felt I could unlock it by walking the streets where my grandfather walked and where my father grew up.”
  • How can 3 contradictory theories of Yiddish co-exist? Share this with Yiddish lovers!
  • "We must answer truthfully: Has a drop of all this bloodshed really helped bring us to a better place?”
  • "There are two roads. We have repeatedly taken the one more traveled, and that has made all the difference." Dahlia Scheindlin looks at the roots of Israel's conflict with Gaza.
  • Shalom, Cooperstown! Cooperstown Jewish mayor Jeff Katz and Jeff Idelson, director of the National Baseball Hall of Fame, work together to oversee induction weekend.
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?




















We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.