When Flocks Unfrock

Siegelmania

By Stanley Siegelman

Published July 16, 2008.
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NEWS ITEM: Time Magazine reports that some Protestant churches oriented toward young adults are urging married couples to have “not just better sex, but more of it.” Pastors point to Genesis, Chapter 2, verse 24, which says a man “shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.”


Good pastors have assumed a stance
That favors sex and dalliance.
Once foul, these topics now are “pure.”
There’s Revelation in amour!

Raw sex, they preach, can right most wrongs,
They cite the Bible’s Song of Songs.
They’ve changed their tune — the old-time hymns
Now yield to themes of hers-and-hims.

Instead of pray’r to aid the weak,
They’re stressing sexual technique.
They smirk and say (with wink of eye):
“Be fruitful, folks, and multiply!”

This exhortation to the flocks
Inspires anew the orthodox.
The formula for wedded bliss
Is “cleavage,” found in Genesis!

The clerics who assert these views
Are planting seeds and filling pews.


Pastorn rufn dos geshlekht
A voyle zakh! (Vos ken zayn shlekht?)
Zey zogn take “Hob kayn moyre
Fun der shtarker yeytser-hore.”

Nisht shmutsik bay zey iz der min,
Nisht koytik, brudik, tsi obscene.
Zey ibervinkn zikh, un lakhn.
Vos far an oysbrei ken men makhn?

S’iz klor, di kirkh fun Kristlekhkayt
Zet heyse seks in a new light.
Haynt ale Kristn zaynen fray
Tsu frukhtik zayn and multiply.

Farmern zikh iz yetst der plan!
Shir-Hashirim zingt yeder man.
Di tuung vos iz seksuel
Balangt in Himl, nisht in Hell.

Azoy filn on zikh, Got tsu dank,
Di kirkhn un di kloysterbank!


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