By Guest Author

Published July 07, 2006, issue of July 07, 2006.
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Stanley Siegelman returns to Der Vinkl with his incredible ability to uncover rare bits of news and to follow up with his hilarious Yiddish and English commentary. Here’s the news item, as he describes it: “Saudi King Abdullah has instructed newspaper editors to stop printing photos of women in which their faces are revealed. He explained that this kind of exposure could lead young men astray.”

Bahalt Dos Ponim!

M’muz nit vayzn oy, oy, oy

Dos nakete ponim fun a froy!

Azoy bafelt der kenig Saudi

Tsu andersh ton, by im, is “naughty,

A man vos kukt oyf aza bild

Ken vern, vi a khaye, vild.

Er ken, kholile, vern “loose

In gatkes oykh in zayn “burnoose.”

Ver folgt yetst nit dem nayem bafel

Vet bald farshlosn zayn in “jail.”

Abdullah (kenig fun dem land)

Dos ken zayn a groyse shand.

Er davnt itst in Mecca, frum,

Un dankt Got far “petroleum,”

Di “mullah” fun Abdullah kvelt:

“Er tut gut far der Muslim velt!”

Far vos vert er azoy heys

Kukndik oyf a meydels “face”?

* * *

Hide Your Face!

“Thou shalt not show, it’s a disgrace

“The frontal naked female face!”

This edict from the Saudi throne

Establishes high moral tone.

A glimpse of physiognomy

Could drive a young man wild, you see

And could conceivably let loose

Uneasiness in his burnoose.

The king admonishes each male:

“Don’t look or else you’ll land in jail!”

His majesty, by this decree

Enforces strict morality:

“The sight of face could spur romance —

And that we can not countenance!”

(The man who says, “I’m feeling swell”

Is doomed and headed straight for hell.)

His Majesty at prayer excels

While checking on his oil wells.

His turbaned mullah, beard unfurled,

Commends him to the Muslim world.

Why does the king flush hot-and-pale

Whene’er he contemplates the veil?

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