January 24, 2003

Published January 24, 2003, issue of January 24, 2003.
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• Because the enlightened worker doesn’t believe in religion, he is often jealous of his friends who still celebrate joyous holidays like Chanukah, Purim and Simchat Torah. The enlightened worker goes sees only the poverty around him and thus goes around depressed. The enlightened worker needs a holiday during which to have a good time, sing songs and let loose. That holiday is the famous Forward masked ball, that light in the darkness of this depressing life. Come to the biggest, best and most beautiful of all the masked balls: It’s only two weeks away.


• Samuel Goodman’s Brooklyn clothing store was robbed of suits worth more than $100,000. When the police investigated, they discovered a raffle ticket on the floor of the cellar where the thieves had broken into the store. On the raffle ticket, which was for a $10 gold piece, was the address of a Brooklyn pool hall. Upon arriving at the pool hall, the police discovered 14 South American and Italian men, all of whom were wearing new suits. Mr. Goldman, who was not able to identify the suspects, was able to identify his suits. All 14 men are currently under arrest.

• After an appeal to the immigration authorities, Rose Solomonova is to be released from Ellis Island and permitted to land. Mrs. Solomonova, whose husband, David, was killed in an automobile accident only four days before she arrived, was not permitted to land because she had no apparent means of support, since she is now a widow. Her husband’s relatives contacted the Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society regarding the situation and, after posting a $500 bond, she will soon be released and sent to Cleveland, where her husband lived.


• Nine doctors, six of them Jewish, have been arrested in Moscow on charges that they planned to kill Stalin under orders from the American secret agents, international Zionism and the Joint Distribution Committee. The doctors are M.S. Vovsi (brother of famed Yiddish theater director Shloyme Mikhoels), V.E. Vinogradov, M.B. Kagan, B.B. Kagan, B.E. Yegorov, A.I. Feldman, Y.G. Ettinger, A.M. Grinshteyn and G.E. Mayorov. All of those arrested are prominent doctors who worked for the highest echelons of Soviet officialdom.

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