Instead Of Checking For Bugs In Your Lettuce, Check For E.Coli
The criminals. Image by iStock
Don’t eat any lettuce you can’t identify the origin of. That overpriced lunch salad? That heirloom vegetable dinner you had planned? That burger with lettuce and tomatoes? Gone, gone and gone. As an E.coli outbreak spreads across this country and Jewish neurotics like myself take to Google in search of symptoms, the CDC has issued an advisory.
Instead of looking for bugs in your lettuce, it’s time to start checking for E.coli in your romaine.
The government’s got a couple suspects lined up but they haven’t narrowed down exactly who the fall guy is yet. Who grew, supplies or distributed the tainted vegetables? What hellish part of Yuma, Arizona did these disease-mongering plants emerge from? Who can we hold accountable for this human rights disaster?
It’ll take you three to four days to start feeling the symptoms of E.coli so if you had romaine lettuce a few days ago, it might be time to give Dr. Goldberg a ring. From nausea to malaise to stomach cramps, E.coli isn’t pretty, and you won’t be either when you’re hugging the toilet in between bouts of bloody vomiting.
This E.coli outbreak has sickened people in sixteen states.
They say that the harvest and shipment of romaine from the Yuma, Arizona region have been stopped. They say. Who can we trust anymore?
I’m definitely not freaked out. I’m completely chill. I’m definitely going to live through this. Definitely. Chill as a cucumber, me.
Shira Feder is a writer for the Forward. She’s shocked, shaken and shook and you can reach her at [email protected]
The Forward is free to read, but it isn’t free to produce
I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward.
Now more than ever, American Jews need independent news they can trust, with reporting driven by truth, not ideology. We serve you, not any ideological agenda.
At a time when other newsrooms are closing or cutting back, the Forward has removed its paywall and invested additional resources to report on the ground from Israel and around the U.S. on the impact of the war, rising antisemitism and polarized discourse.
This is a great time to support independent Jewish journalism you rely on. Make a Passover gift today!
— Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO
Dive In
Most Popular
- 1
Opinion My Jewish moms group ousted me because I work for J Street. Is this what communal life has come to?
- 2
Fast Forward Suspected arsonist intended to beat Gov. Josh Shapiro with a sledgehammer, investigators say
- 3
Fast Forward How Coke’s Passover recipe sparked an antisemitic conspiracy theory
- 4
Politics Meet America’s potential first Jewish second family: Josh Shapiro, Lori, and their 4 kids
In Case You Missed It
-
News Student protesters being deported are not ‘martyrs and heroes,’ says former antisemitism envoy
-
Opinion This Nazi-era story shows why Trump won’t fix a terrifying deportation mistake
-
Opinion I operate a small Judaica business. Trump’s tariffs are going to squelch Jewish innovation.
-
Fast Forward Language apps are putting Hebrew school in teens’ back pockets. But do they work?
-
Shop the Forward Store
100% of profits support our journalism
Republish This Story
Please read before republishing
We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free, unless it originated with JTA, Haaretz or another publication (as indicated on the article) and as long as you follow our guidelines.
You must comply with the following:
- Credit the Forward
- Retain our pixel
- Preserve our canonical link in Google search
- Add a noindex tag in Google search
See our full guidelines for more information, and this guide for detail about canonical URLs.
To republish, copy the HTML by clicking on the yellow button to the right; it includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to the Forward. It does not include images; to avoid copyright violations, you must add them manually, following our guidelines. Please email us at [email protected], subject line “republish,” with any questions or to let us know what stories you’re picking up.