The ‘bagelrito’ has taken cross-cultural food experiments too far

We love cross-cultural kitchen experiments - Jew-panese, Jew-maican, Jew-orican, even Jew-rean (Jewish/Korean fusion).

But Einstein Bros might have finally pushed it too far.

The national bagel chain this week unveiled the Bagelrito, a hybrid bagel-burrito that’s more Frankenstein’s monster than breakfast breakthrough. The brand boasts about “constantly pushing the boundaries of the classic bagel.” We’re starting to wonder if that’s a good thing.

“Einstein Bros Bagels has taken it to the next level with the Bagelrito. It’s loaded with two cage-free eggs, thick-cut bacon, turkey sausage, three cheeses, hash browns, salsa and green chilies in a flour tortilla, all hand-wrapped in Asiago bagel dough and baked fresh,” the company crowed in a press release. “It’s [sic] substantial size, high-flavor and portability has earned it its slogan: ‘big, bold and easy to hold.’”

Actually, it looks as messy as it sounds, and the bagel “shell” resembles a damaged Pillsbury croissant rather than an Ashkenazi/Eastern European-inspired baked good.

What, we asked a publicist, was the inspiration for this shonde?

“Einstein Bros. is a the inventive bagel shop and we are always looking for new ways to ‘bagel’,” came the response. “We know that portability is something our guests are looking for at breakfast and we have been playing with how to deliver on this for years. We also know that breakfast burritos are rising in popularity. One day, while the chefs were playing around, the Bagelrito happened. And it was awesome!”

Our first thought was that bagels are portable enough.

Our second thought was that the chain’s chefs should stop “playing around”.

Our third thought was that we’re grateful our nearest bagel shop is Ess-A-Bagel - and that the closest Einstein Bros. in safely tucked inside LaGuardia airport.

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The ‘bagelrito’ has taken cross-cultural food experiments too far

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