Skip To Content
JEWISH. INDEPENDENT. NONPROFIT.
Life

How late is too late to say something?

From its start in 1906, A Bintel Brief was a pillar of the Forward, helping generations of Jewish immigrants learn how to be American. Now our columnists are helping people navigate the complexities of being Jewish in 2020. Send questions to [email protected].

Bintel Brief logo

Image by Liana finck

Dear Bintel,

I volunteer helping to run a Jewish group that has been unable to meet or do anything for months because of the virus. We’ve been trying to put out an email in support of Black Lives Matters in the wake of all the protests, which I’m in support of. But everyone is very stressed about the phrasing, making actionable commitments and not being just another empty statement. But we’re not even able to perform our main function — how much can we really commit to doing?! We’ve rewritten the email about a thousand times, someone has a major issue with every draft, and now it’s been weeks and I feel like it’s too late to say anything. Doesn’t it look just as bad that we’re this late saying anything? Can we just fly under the radar this time?

— Too Late

Dear Too Late,

Buckle your seatbelt and get to writing.

You’re right, it is very late for your organization to be still drafting your message, but you are not allowed to “fly under the radar.” None of us can.

Remember Moses and all of his grand excuses when God asked him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt? First, he told God, “They won’t believe me, and they won’t listen to me.” (Exodus 4:1). God taught him how to turn a rod into a snake and the waters of the Nile into blood, so the Israelites would give Moses some cred. Still, Moses came back with, “Please, my Lord, I have never been good with words… not in the past and also not now… I’m slow of speech and tongue.” (Exodus 4:10) So God promised to give Moses the right words to say.

Moses’s excuses kept coming, but God’s answer remained firm: you can and you must.

I’ll admit, I’m a grand excuse maker. I’ve lost out on friendships, job prospects and trust by being late or unresponsive. I’ve stayed quiet about racial inequality and assumed somebody smarter and more charismatic would say what needed to be said. In the past few months, even when I did go to protests, I stood in the back; I echoed chants at half-volume.


Learn a bisel Yiddish with Rukhl Schaechter’s “Word of the Day” video series on YouTube.


But I read this quote from Maya Angelou just this morning: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

Too Late, you and I know better. We know that silence equals violence. When we say nothing, we leave our audience guessing whether we agree or disagree; whether we’re apathetic or ignorant or counting on someone else to do the talking for us. When we spend all of our time trying to craft the perfect something to say, we’re not making the situation any better — we might even be doing active harm. If your organization never says anything for fear of making an empty statement, you might inadvertently make the opposite statement instead.

Plus, spoiler alert: there is no perfect way to phrase your message. There will be someone offended or taken aback by your words no matter how many times you change it. And that’s scary — but not nearly as scary as facing racism and violence daily.

So urge your organization to get over themselves and hit send. Today. It’s far better to make these mistakes than to say nothing at all.

Abby Sher is a writer in Maplewood, New Jersey. Got a question? Send it to [email protected]

A message from our CEO & publisher Rachel Fishman Feddersen

I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward’s award-winning, nonprofit journalism during this critical time.

At a time when other newsrooms are closing or cutting back, the Forward has removed its paywall and invested additional resources to report on the ground from Israel and around the U.S. on the impact of the war, rising antisemitism and polarized discourse..

Readers like you make it all possible. Support our work by becoming a Forward Member and connect with our journalism and your community.

—  Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO

Join our mission to tell the Jewish story fully and fairly.

Republish This Story

Please read before republishing

We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free, unless it originated with JTA, Haaretz or another publication (as indicated on the article) and as long as you follow our guidelines. You must credit the Forward, retain our pixel and preserve our canonical link in Google search.  See our full guidelines for more information, and this guide for detail about canonical URLs.

To republish, copy the HTML by clicking on the yellow button to the right; it includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to the Forward. It does not include images; to avoid copyright violations, you must add them manually, following our guidelines. Please email us at [email protected], subject line “republish,” with any questions or to let us know what stories you’re picking up.

We don't support Internet Explorer

Please use Chrome, Safari, Firefox, or Edge to view this site.