The following is purportedly a leaked transcript of President Trump’s speech from the National Prayer Breakfast.
Welcome everyone. It’s prayer time, so we’re going to have our little breakfast — we have some of the best pastries, really the best and pray.
I love God — really do. Great guy, God, and a big supporter of mine, as you can tell, because I am rich, very rich. You know, I read the Bible daily. I love the Bible. Jesus did some amazing work, really terrific. Unfortunately the media, they crucified him, really. It was terrible. But now he’s being recognized as having made a huge contribution.
Moses, too — let me not forget, you know my son-in-law Jared Kushner is here, doing an absolutely fantastic job. And my beautiful daughter Ivanka, who is Jewish also. So many good Jews in the Bible. People have asked me what do I pray for, and I have the best prayers, really, the very best. I’m praying for long life, because I am in excellent health, and I’m praying that the people who hate me will be uprooted and destroyed, and I’m praying for myself, honestly, because I have a good brain and I am very, very rich.
Thank you for coming this morning. God has done some great work lately, beautiful things, canyons and the moon and Mar-a-Lago, really beautiful work. You know we built a casino right next to Niagara Falls, beautiful casino, beautiful view of the waterfall. So let’s take a moment, we are going to do wonderful things together, me and God, really brilliant, strong, powerful things. Thank you everybody, thank you for coming to support me this morning, and thank you most of all to myself.
Jay Michaelson is a contributing editor at the Forward.