DER YIDDISH-VINKL January 13, 2006


Published January 13, 2006, issue of January 13, 2006.
  • Print
  • Share Share

Once again, Der Vinkl presents Stanley Siegelman, with his Yinglish and his forever startling choice of subject.

Zelbik-Geschlekht Khasene

Zey loyfn ale haynt “pell mell”

Tsu “shidekh homosex-uel.”

A man hot khasene mit a “boy”

A meydl nemt als “man” a froy.

As “same-sex marriage” vakst a sakh

Fun vanen kumen kinderlakh?

Nit kayn kind and nit kayn vigl?

Aza khasene iz legal?

Zog, in a same-sex family,

Ver trogt di gatkes — er tsi zi?

Ven er’s nit er un zi’s nit zi Mir hobn du “androgeny”

Zey take fregn “Vi krigt men

A “license” far fahayreten”

Nor Bush zogt “neyn — der president”

Shrayt “zoln zey ale zayn farbrent!”

Di frage iz fun “civil rights,”

Un gor nit fun “romantic nights.” Zogt Bush: “Vos yetst I now intend

“The Constitution to amend

A “license” zogt mir zogn “Yes.”

Dos iz in kurts “licentiousness.”

Yeder mensh iz take fray

Tsu porn zikh mit a gal or guy

Farvos muz undser U.S. law

Mish zikh arayn — a kats’s paw

S’iz a shande — oy kaptsonim

Loyf avek, bahalt dos ponim

Efsher zoln mir gebn a lakh

Un legalize di gantse zakh.

Same-sex Marriage

Oh, homosexuals, et al.

Confront a plight connubial.

Two male are to each other wed

Two females join in nuptial bed.

If same-sex troth becomes the rule,

Who’ll father kids, I ask you who’ll?

One consequence is likely, viz.

Some cradle makers out of biz.

Within the same-sex families

Who wears the pants, the BVDs?

When he’s not “he” and she’s not “she”

We’re flirting with androgeny!

Gay activists, in anger, vow

To get their marriage license now;

The question’s one of civil rights:

And not of amorous delights.

But Bush demurs, he will not bend.

The Constitution he’d amend.

Does granting licenses detract?

And isn’t it a licentious act?

All folks are free, it must be said,

To choose with whom they’ll share a bed.

So why curb hymeneal acts?

That way is bedlam, face the facts!

Lest love, a many-splendored thing,

Become a solo gendered fling.

We could avoid both tooth and fang

And legalize the whole shebang.

Find us on Facebook!
  • What's it like to be Chagall's granddaughter?
  • Is pot kosher for Passover. The rabbis say no, especially for Ashkenazi Jews. And it doesn't matter if its the unofficial Pot Day of April 20.
  • A Ukrainian rabbi says he thinks the leaflets ordering Jews in restive Donetsk to 'register' were a hoax. But the disturbing story still won't die.
  • Some snacks to help you get through the second half of Passover.
  • You wouldn't think that a Soviet-Jewish immigrant would find much in common with Gabriel Garcia Marquez. But the famed novelist once helped one man find his first love.
  • Can you relate?
  • The Forverts' "Bintel Brief" advice column ran for more than 65 years. Now it's getting a second life — as a cartoon.
  • Half of this Hillel's members believe Jesus was the Messiah.
  • Vinyl isn't just for hipsters and hippies. Israeli photographer Eilan Paz documents the most astonishing record collections from around the world:
  • Could Spider-Man be Jewish? Andrew Garfield thinks so.
  • Most tasteless video ever? A new video shows Jesus Christ dying at Auschwitz.
  • "It’s the smell that hits me first — musty, almost sweet, emanating from the green felt that cradles each piece of silver cutlery in its own place." Only one week left to submit! Tell us the story of your family's Jewish heirloom.
  • Mazel tov to Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky!
  • If it's true, it's pretty terrifying news.
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?

You may also be interested in our English-language newsletters:

We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.