DER YIDDISH-VINKL January 13, 2006

A WEEKLY BRIEFING ON THE MOTHER TONGUE

Published January 13, 2006, issue of January 13, 2006.
  • Print
  • Share Share

Once again, Der Vinkl presents Stanley Siegelman, with his Yinglish and his forever startling choice of subject.

Zelbik-Geschlekht Khasene

Zey loyfn ale haynt “pell mell”

Tsu “shidekh homosex-uel.”

A man hot khasene mit a “boy”

A meydl nemt als “man” a froy.

As “same-sex marriage” vakst a sakh

Fun vanen kumen kinderlakh?

Nit kayn kind and nit kayn vigl?

Aza khasene iz legal?

Zog, in a same-sex family,

Ver trogt di gatkes — er tsi zi?

Ven er’s nit er un zi’s nit zi Mir hobn du “androgeny”

Zey take fregn “Vi krigt men

A “license” far fahayreten”

Nor Bush zogt “neyn — der president”

Shrayt “zoln zey ale zayn farbrent!”

Di frage iz fun “civil rights,”

Un gor nit fun “romantic nights.” Zogt Bush: “Vos yetst I now intend

“The Constitution to amend

A “license” zogt mir zogn “Yes.”

Dos iz in kurts “licentiousness.”

Yeder mensh iz take fray

Tsu porn zikh mit a gal or guy

Farvos muz undser U.S. law

Mish zikh arayn — a kats’s paw

S’iz a shande — oy kaptsonim

Loyf avek, bahalt dos ponim

Efsher zoln mir gebn a lakh

Un legalize di gantse zakh.

Same-sex Marriage

Oh, homosexuals, et al.

Confront a plight connubial.

Two male are to each other wed

Two females join in nuptial bed.

If same-sex troth becomes the rule,

Who’ll father kids, I ask you who’ll?

One consequence is likely, viz.

Some cradle makers out of biz.

Within the same-sex families

Who wears the pants, the BVDs?

When he’s not “he” and she’s not “she”

We’re flirting with androgeny!

Gay activists, in anger, vow

To get their marriage license now;

The question’s one of civil rights:

And not of amorous delights.

But Bush demurs, he will not bend.

The Constitution he’d amend.

Does granting licenses detract?

And isn’t it a licentious act?

All folks are free, it must be said,

To choose with whom they’ll share a bed.

So why curb hymeneal acts?

That way is bedlam, face the facts!

Lest love, a many-splendored thing,

Become a solo gendered fling.

We could avoid both tooth and fang

And legalize the whole shebang.






Find us on Facebook!
  • "If you want my advice: more Palestinians, more checkpoints, just more reality." What do you think?
  • Happy birthday Barbra Streisand! Our favorite Funny Girl turns 72 today.
  • Clueless parenting advice from the star of "Clueless."
  • Why won't the city give an answer?
  • BREAKING NEWS: Israel has officially suspended peace talks with the Palestinians.
  • Can you guess what the most boring job in the army is?
  • What the foolish rabbi of Chelm teaches us about Israel and the Palestinian unity deal:
  • Mazel tov to Idina Menzel on making Variety "Power of Women" cover! http://jd.fo/f3Mms
  • "How much should I expect him and/or ask him to participate? Is it enough to have one parent reciting the prayers and observing the holidays?" What do you think?
  • New York and Montreal have been at odds for far too long. Stop the bagel wars, sign our bagel peace treaty!
  • Really, can you blame them?
  • “How I Stopped Hating Women of the Wall and Started Talking to My Mother.” Will you see it?
  • Taglit-Birthright Israel is redefining who they consider "Jewish" after a 17% drop in registration from 2011-2013. Is the "propaganda tag" keeping young people away?
  • Happy birthday William Shakespeare! Turns out, the Bard knew quite a bit about Jews.
  • Would you get to know racists on a first-name basis if you thought it might help you prevent them from going on rampages, like the recent shooting in Kansas City?
  • from-cache

Would you like to receive updates about new stories?








You may also be interested in our English-language newsletters:













We will not share your e-mail address or other personal information.

Already subscribed? Manage your subscription.