DER YIDDISH-VINKL January 13, 2006
Once again, Der Vinkl presents Stanley Siegelman, with his Yinglish and his forever startling choice of subject.
Zelbik-Geschlekht Khasene
Zey loyfn ale haynt “pell mell”
Tsu “shidekh homosex-uel.”
A man hot khasene mit a “boy”
A meydl nemt als “man” a froy.
As “same-sex marriage” vakst a sakh
Fun vanen kumen kinderlakh?
Nit kayn kind and nit kayn vigl?
Aza khasene iz legal?
Zog, in a same-sex family,
Ver trogt di gatkes — er tsi zi?
Ven er’s nit er un zi’s nit zi Mir hobn du “androgeny”
Zey take fregn “Vi krigt men
A “license” far fahayreten”
Nor Bush zogt “neyn — der president”
Shrayt “zoln zey ale zayn farbrent!”
Di frage iz fun “civil rights,”
Un gor nit fun “romantic nights.” Zogt Bush: “Vos yetst I now intend
“The Constitution to amend
A “license” zogt mir zogn “Yes.”
Dos iz in kurts “licentiousness.”
Yeder mensh iz take fray
Tsu porn zikh mit a gal or guy
Farvos muz undser U.S. law
Mish zikh arayn — a kats’s paw
S’iz a shande — oy kaptsonim
Loyf avek, bahalt dos ponim
Efsher zoln mir gebn a lakh
Un legalize di gantse zakh.
Same-sex Marriage
Oh, homosexuals, et al.
Confront a plight connubial.
Two male are to each other wed
Two females join in nuptial bed.
If same-sex troth becomes the rule,
Who’ll father kids, I ask you who’ll?
One consequence is likely, viz.
Some cradle makers out of biz.
Within the same-sex families
Who wears the pants, the BVDs?
When he’s not “he” and she’s not “she”
We’re flirting with androgeny!
Gay activists, in anger, vow
To get their marriage license now;
The question’s one of civil rights:
And not of amorous delights.
But Bush demurs, he will not bend.
The Constitution he’d amend.
Does granting licenses detract?
And isn’t it a licentious act?
All folks are free, it must be said,
To choose with whom they’ll share a bed.
So why curb hymeneal acts?
That way is bedlam, face the facts!
Lest love, a many-splendored thing,
Become a solo gendered fling.
We could avoid both tooth and fang
And legalize the whole shebang.
Why I became the Forward’s Editor-in-Chief
You are surely a friend of the Forward if you’re reading this. And so it’s with excitement and awe — of all that the Forward is, was, and will be — that I introduce myself to you as the Forward’s newest editor-in-chief.
And what a time to step into the leadership of this storied Jewish institution! For 129 years, the Forward has shaped and told the American Jewish story. I’m stepping in at an intense time for Jews the world over. We urgently need the Forward’s courageous, unflinching journalism — not only as a source of reliable information, but to provide inspiration, healing and hope.
