Happiest American Is Still Hawaiian, Jewish and Chill

How Alvin Wong Became an Unlikely Symbol of Contentment

Mazel Tov: Alvin Wong was informed by The New York Times that he is the happiest man in America.
Courtesy of Alvin Wong
Mazel Tov: Alvin Wong was informed by The New York Times that he is the happiest man in America.

By Hody Nemes

Published April 21, 2014, issue of April 18, 2014.
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Since 2008, Gallup and Healthways, a health and wellbeing improvement company, have conducted the survey that indirectly enshrined Wong. It technically measures not happiness, but well-being, including basic needs, like financial security, physical and emotional health, and access to food and shelter.

Jews have ranked consistently as the religious group with the highest well-being since the survey began, even when controlling for other key factors, like income and age.

Wong flirted with Catholicism as a young man, and did not become a member of the happiest tribe until he was in his 30s, before marrying his wife. But his Jewish identity plays an important part role in fostering the humility he says he needs to be happy.

“Judaism teaches us that your heaven or hell is made here on earth by the deeds you do,” he said. “People will miss you or not miss you. Their thoughts about you is how you are remembered. If that doesn’t keep you grounded, I don’t know what will.”

According to the survey, greater religious observance is tied to higher well-being across all religions, including Judaism — but the survey did not define observance. Rampell needed to find an observant Jew, and she decided that Wong fit the bill after learning that he keeps a kosher home. “Catherine Rampell said, ‘I don’t know what [observant] means, but we’ll consider that since you are kosher, you are an observant Jew,’” Wong related.

Wong is not Sabbath observant according to traditional Jewish law and does not attend services on a weekly basis. Still, he considers himself observant, though he accepts that others might not. “There’s degrees of being observant,” he said. “You may have different interpretations.”

Wong says he feels most comfortable in the Conservative movement, and attends Sof Ma’arav, the westernmost Conservative synagogue in the world. The Wongs’ Passover and Hanukkah parties are well known in the Jewish community — and for good reason. Wong estimates that he and his wife own 96 menorahs, which are proudly displayed during the holiday.

Still, Wong finds he must be assertive in demonstrating his Jewish identity, because he is Asian American. “When you say, ‘I’m Jewish,’ a lot of people here in Hawaii think, ‘Well you’re Caucasian and that’s it,’” he said. “[They] don’t realize that you’re referring to a religion and not an ethnic group.”

One of the wellsprings that sustains Wong’s happiness is his straightforward but optimistic view of setbacks, from high school breakups to deaths in the family to the time he nearly died as a 6-month-old during the Pearl Harbor attacks. He rarely broods over anything. “I guess my attitude has always been, you’ve got to go forward,” he said. “When you have a failure, when you have something that happens to you that is traumatic, what you have to do is learn from it, but move on and not let that happen again.”

He attributes his attitude to the values he imbibed while growing up in postwar Hawaii, where Asian cultural norms of respect and humility were highly valued. Today, he feels his Asian and Jewish backgrounds complement each other. “When I was converted, my mom said, ‘Judaism is one of the oldest cultures in the world, and the Chinese culture is, too,’” he said. “There was never a sense of clashing of two cultures.”

Another key to happiness, according to Wong, is learning to laugh at yourself. “Happiness is, I don’t think of myself too seriously,” he said. “If you can’t laugh at yourself — at all your problems [and] mistakes — then you’re going to go through life a very unhappy person. This has always been my philosophy.”

Family members say Wong continues to laugh at himself and remains humble despite his fame. But they like to help make sure he stays that way. “I reminded him that Happy was maybe not the brightest of the [Seven] Dwarfs,” Shaaroni Wong said.

Contact Hody Nemes at feedback@forward.com

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