After over three decades of making us laugh, David Letterman’s last show is upon us.
We know that Letterman will always be the best at top 10 lists, but here is our humble Top 10 best Jewish guests on Letterman, through the years:
10) Number ten is an actual Top 10 Letterman list! Featuring our favorite Jewish diva, Idina Menzel:
Sometimes I catch myself muttering, barely audible (I hope): “If you need help, here I am.” Then, a few minutes later, I repeat it. “If you need help, here I am.”
“If you need help, here I am” is an idiotic phrase intoned by Renée Zellweger in the movie “Cold Mountain.” In February 2004, David Letterman played the trailer on his show and became obsessed by its melodrama and its sound. For weeks after he would repeat, “If you need help, here I am.” Sometimes he played an audio clip of Renée. Usually he just said it several times in a row and laughed to himself. Maybe the studio audience laughed too. Maybe the audience cringed. First time viewers of “The Late Show” could only reach one conclusion: David Letterman was insane.
David Letterman is insane, but that’s only tangentially related to why he repeated the Zellweger line over and over. David Letterman’s insanity is hosting a five-night-a-week television program. His insanity is the need to be funny night after night, week after week, year after year. His insanity is the need to entertain and the need to stay relevant. His insanity was not being able to walk away — though, thankfully, that fever has broken. On April 4 Letterman announced that he would retire in 2015, and on April 10 CBS announced that he would be succeeded by Stephen Colbert.
But that other people want to host a late night television show doesn’t make Letterman — or them — any less deranged. It only means that we’re suffering through a mass psychosis.
Apparently, teenage girls aren’t the only ones to go wild at the sight of a celebrity.
In an interview with David Letterman, actor Adam Sandler revealed that he was recently attacked by a cheetah while on safari in South Africa.
“This is a true story,” he recalled. “I went there, and they let me in with a cheetah…and said I could feed the cheetah water with my hands. So I did it, and it went a little bit wrong.”
The 46-year-old then showed a video where you can see the cheetah slowly circling what appears to be his next meal (Sandler), crouching down by water. The animal pounces onto the actor’s back, but is quickly pulled off by a nearby handler.
Sandler barely had time to react. “When he jumped on me, all I was going to do was let him eat me,” he joked.
Watch the “Grown Ups” star tell the story in full below:
Come on, Lea Michele.
The Shmooze is not in the habit of taking our favorite starlets to task for the silly things they say on late-night television, but Lea Michele’s chat with David Letterman last night caught our attention. Would it have killed the “Glee” star, who snagged spot #14 on Maxim’s straightforwardly salacious Hot 100 list, to show off something other than her figure?
Perhaps we’re expecting too much. It’s not Michele’s fault Maxim thinks she’s sexy, after all, and she did talk about the season finale of “Glee,” which airs tonight, and about what may or may not happen next season. She joked that living in Los Angeles has caused her to lose cred as a New Yorker. But the rest of her comments — not to mention her choice of wardrobe — seemed calculated to get the audience to think about her body.
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