Skip To Content
JEWISH. INDEPENDENT. NONPROFIT.
Life

Eight Hanukkah Sweaters To Keep You Cozy All Winter

I’ve long thought that, if indeed there is a War on Christmas, Christmas sweaters are proof enough that Jews are losing. For every boring dreidel t-shirt proffered by Target as a limp gesture of inclusivity, there’s a thrift store stocked with red and green sweaters sporting the most innovative combinations of sequins, appliques, and rhinestones that the 1990s had to offer.

But Hanukkah 5780 may just be a tipping point. This year, Walmart released a mind-boggling line of Christmas sweaters depicting — among other things — a snowman snorting cocaine and Santa being spanked. While big box Christmas sweaters are finally crossing the line from charmingly tacky to seriously red-flag-raising, online retailers like Etsy have stepped up to fill this gaping need in the Jewish community, giving us the joyful, quippy, wryly Jewish garments we always knew Hanukkah sweaters could be. To kick off the holiday season, here are the eight best Hanukkah sweaters available online.

Dinosaur Hanukkah Sweater

Roar away with this dinosaur sweater.

Roar away with this dinosaur sweater. Image by 7ate9Apparel via Etsy

This sweater is perfect for kids or anyone who wants to start an argument about evolution at a holiday party.

Drake Hanukkah Sweater

A stylish Drake crewneck.

A stylish Drake crewneck. Image by PinkSundaysStudio via Etsy

Drake’s Toronto restaurant may have closed over nonpayment of rent, this sweater shows he’s still close to our hearts.

This Is What Jewish Looks Like T-Shirt

A great t-shirt for the whole year.

A great t-shirt for the whole year. Image by SprinklesandSpark via Etsy

Because there’s no one way for Jews to look. This is actually the best Jewish apparel you can buy during Hanukkah, or any time of the year.

Larry David Hanukkah Sweater

Happy Hanukkah from Larry David.

Happy Hanukkah from Larry David. Image by TcomboInc via Etsy

This sweater will allow you to enjoy your office holiday party while communicating your belief that religion is the opium of the people and seasonal holidays are spectacles of unbridled consumerism. You’ve read Marx, and everyone should be aware of that.

Light-Up Sweater

A light-up Hanukkah sweater.

A light-up Hanukkah sweater. Image by SilverSpoonLifestyle via Etsy

My middle school crush wore a light-up shirt to our school dance, and it got him a heavily supervised afternoon at the movies with me. If you want to score big this Hanukkah, this one’s for you.

Gelt Digger Sweater

A very punny Hanukkah sweater.

A very punny Hanukkah sweater. Image by SwayShirt via Etsy

For when you really want to lean into Jewish stereotypes.

Let’s Get Lit Sweater

One of the original Hanukkah sweater slogans.

One of the original Hanukkah sweater slogans. Image by NobullWomanApparel via Etsy

This sweater is for people who peaked as president of their Jewish fraternity.

Gin and Tonica Sweater

This sweater plays on Adam Sandler's classic Hanukkah tune.

This sweater plays on Adam Sandler’s classic Hanukkah tune. Image by ShirtCandy via Etsy

Because while cocaine sweaters are not OK, light gestures towards holiday excess are accepted and encouraged.

Irene Connelly is an intern at the Forward. You can contact her at [email protected].

I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward’s award-winning, nonprofit journalism during this critical time.

Now more than ever, American Jews need independent news they can trust, with reporting driven by truth, not ideology. We serve you, not any ideological agenda.

At a time when other newsrooms are closing or cutting back, the Forward has removed its paywall and invested additional resources to report on the ground from Israel and around the U.S. on the impact of the war, rising antisemitism and the protests on college campuses.

Readers like you make it all possible. Support our work by becoming a Forward Member and connect with our journalism and your community.

Make a gift of any size and become a Forward member today. You’ll support our mission to tell the American Jewish story fully and fairly. 

— Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO

Join our mission to tell the Jewish story fully and fairly.

Republish This Story

Please read before republishing

We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free, unless it originated with JTA, Haaretz or another publication (as indicated on the article) and as long as you follow our guidelines. You must credit the Forward, retain our pixel and preserve our canonical link in Google search.  See our full guidelines for more information, and this guide for detail about canonical URLs.

To republish, copy the HTML by clicking on the yellow button to the right; it includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to the Forward. It does not include images; to avoid copyright violations, you must add them manually, following our guidelines. Please email us at [email protected], subject line “republish,” with any questions or to let us know what stories you’re picking up.

We don't support Internet Explorer

Please use Chrome, Safari, Firefox, or Edge to view this site.