Skip To Content
JEWISH. INDEPENDENT. NONPROFIT.
Back to Opinion

Letter | There’s A Sweet Side To Haredi Schools That’s Too Often Ignored

Dear Editor,

While I don’t dispute the reports of physical abuse at Hassidic boys schools, as a parent whose children have attended similar institutions, I have a different story to tell.

True, there were some oddballs, including the strange man whom my son called “the Admor of the Cats” who kept a bottle of cherry liqueur in the classroom. There was also the rebbe who asked me — the mother — questions about sex.

But these men were vastly outnumbered by the kind rebbes, the rebbes who went the extra mile for my sons, such as Rabbi Grossman who — realizing that something was amiss when my highly intelligent son handed in an empty test paper — discreetly referred him to the school’s remedial teacher who taught him how to handle long-answer tests (until that point he had only been confronted with multiple choice).

There were others too, like Rav Herrera, who invited all of his students to his home for Shabbos — nothing weird or kinky, just open hearted hospitality — and many rebbes who paid home visits to my children during periods of illness.

Most memorable of all was the response of my youngest son’s entire heder following a bike injury which resulted in a brain hemorrhage (thank G-d he recovered). The heder literally went all out, his class visiting the Western Wall to pray for him, the teachers and students learning extra chapters of the mishna and doing mitzvos on his behalf and a non-stop flow of visitors and good wishes.

Before your newspapers lambasts Haredi education, remember that, like all education, there is another, sweeter side to the story.

Sincerely,

Carol Ungar

Carol Ungar is a writer and food blogger. She is at work on a cookbook, “Jewish Soul Food,” forthcoming from Brandeis University Press.

A message from our Publisher & CEO Rachel Fishman Feddersen

I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward’s award-winning, nonprofit journalism during this critical time.

We’ve set a goal to raise $260,000 by December 31. That’s an ambitious goal, but one that will give us the resources we need to invest in the high quality news, opinion, analysis and cultural coverage that isn’t available anywhere else.

If you feel inspired to make an impact, now is the time to give something back. Join us as a member at your most generous level.

—  Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO

With your support, we’ll be ready for whatever 2025 brings.

Republish This Story

Please read before republishing

We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free, unless it originated with JTA, Haaretz or another publication (as indicated on the article) and as long as you follow our guidelines. You must credit the Forward, retain our pixel and preserve our canonical link in Google search.  See our full guidelines for more information, and this guide for detail about canonical URLs.

To republish, copy the HTML by clicking on the yellow button to the right; it includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to the Forward. It does not include images; to avoid copyright violations, you must add them manually, following our guidelines. Please email us at [email protected], subject line “republish,” with any questions or to let us know what stories you’re picking up.

We don't support Internet Explorer

Please use Chrome, Safari, Firefox, or Edge to view this site.