‘Star Wars’ — Or a Woody Allen Movie?

Let’s play a game. Take a look at the following quotes from the original “Star Wars” trilogy, and repeat them with a Woody Allen voiceover:
“I’ve got such a bad case of dust contamination, I can hardly move.”
“Where am I? Where is everybody?”
“With all we’ve been through, sometimes I’m amazed we’re in as good condition as we are.”
“Oh, my head!”
“I told you it was dangerous here!”
Amazing, isn’t it? C-3PO, chief neurotic officer of the “Star Wars” franchise, sounds an awful lot like the iconic filmmaker. All credit goes to for making the connection and creating this “Star Wars”/Woody Allen mashup which merges the opening credits from “Manhattan” with the droid’s many many complaints.
“The ‘Star Wars’ franchise isn’t known for its melancholy,” Diane Bullock and Mike Schuster write in the piece, which marks Day 14 of Vulture’s “Star Wars” Advent Calendar. “But if you focus on the only speaking character to appear in all seven of the space-opera flicks, it becomes a lot more neurotic. C-3PO is surrounded by adventurers and warriors, but he’s just a self-doubting nebbish, always worried and never satisfied. In other words, he’s much like a Woody Allen protagonist.”
If you really think about it though, it isn’t all that surprising — don’t all Jewish stories begin with some version of “A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away?”
The Forward is free to read, but it isn’t free to produce

I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward.
Now more than ever, American Jews need independent news they can trust, with reporting driven by truth, not ideology. We serve you, not any ideological agenda.
At a time when other newsrooms are closing or cutting back, the Forward has removed its paywall and invested additional resources to report on the ground from Israel and around the U.S. on the impact of the war, rising antisemitism and polarized discourse.
This is a great time to support independent Jewish journalism you rely on. Make a gift today!
— Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO
Support our mission to tell the Jewish story fully and fairly.
Most Popular
- 1
Fast Forward Ye debuts ‘Heil Hitler’ music video that includes a sample of a Hitler speech
- 2
Culture Cardinals are Catholic, not Jewish — so why do they all wear yarmulkes?
- 3
News School Israel trip turns ‘terrifying’ for LA students attacked by Israeli teens
- 4
Fast Forward Student suspended for ‘F— the Jews’ video defends himself on antisemitic podcast
In Case You Missed It
-
Culture A pocket guide to the Jewish grandmothers of Mexico
-
Opinion Israel is choosing to inflict misery on Gaza
-
Fast Forward Police clash with pro-Palestinian protesters in Brooklyn as Columbia library takeover fallout continues
-
Opinion This week proved it: Trump’s approach to antisemitism at Columbia is horribly ineffective
-
Shop the Forward Store
100% of profits support our journalism
Republish This Story
Please read before republishing
We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free, unless it originated with JTA, Haaretz or another publication (as indicated on the article) and as long as you follow our guidelines.
You must comply with the following:
- Credit the Forward
- Retain our pixel
- Preserve our canonical link in Google search
- Add a noindex tag in Google search
See our full guidelines for more information, and this guide for detail about canonical URLs.
To republish, copy the HTML by clicking on the yellow button to the right; it includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to the Forward. It does not include images; to avoid copyright violations, you must add them manually, following our guidelines. Please email us at [email protected], subject line “republish,” with any questions or to let us know what stories you’re picking up.