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Contributing Columnist Jay Michaelson April 7, 2017

“We see these beautiful pictures at night from the decks of these two U.S. Navy vessels in the eastern Mediterranean,” Brian Williams said. “I am tempted to quote the great Leonard Cohen: ‘I am guided by the beauty of our weapons.’”

“We see the arc of my career these days,” Williams said. “I am tempted to quote the great Leonard Cohen: ‘They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom.’”

“We see these beautiful maps of the Middle East,” Williams said. “I am tempted to quote the great Leonard Cohen: ‘The wars they will be fought again.’”

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“We see these beautiful pictures of Vladimir Putin hiking with his shirt off,” Williams said. “I am tempted to quote the great Leonard Cohen: ‘If thine is the glory then mine must be the shame.’”

“We see these beautiful pictures of Donald Trump’s press conference,” Williams said. “I am tempted to quote the great Leonard Cohen: ‘You loved me as a loser, but now you’re worried that I just might win. You know the way to stop me, but you don’t have the discipline.’”

“We see these beautiful leaked videos of Hulk Hogan,” Williams said. “I am tempted to quote the great Leonard Cohen: ‘Giving me head on the unmade bed, while the limousines wait in the street.’”

“We see the beautiful official photograph of Melania Trump,” Williams said. “I am tempted to quote the great Leonard Cohen: ‘You told me again you preferred handsome men, but for me you would make an exception.’”

“We see the beautiful Kendall Jenner in that Pepsi ad, “Williams said. “I am tempted to quote the great Leonard Cohen: ‘I caught the darkness drinking from your cup. I said is this contagious? You said just drink it up.”

“We see these beautiful ratings for my MSNBC show,” Williams said. “I am tempted to quote the great Leonard Cohen: ‘I’m neither left or right – I’m just staying home tonight, getting lost in that hopeless little screen.’”

“And finally, our roundup on President Trump’s first 100 days,” Williams said. “I am tempted to quote the great Leonard Cohen: ‘Give me back the Berlin wall. Give me Stalin and St Paul. Give me Christ or give me Hiroshima. Destroy another fetus now, we don’t like children anyhow. I’ve seen the future, baby: it is murder.’”

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