At one point or other, Justin Timberlake has been every Jewish girl’s fantasy gentile boyfriend.
And that makes the gentleladies here at The Forward convinced — absolutely convinced — that he cooed these Paul Anka lyrics to his wife, Jessica Biel, when the EPT came back with a plus sign.
“You’re having my baby
What a lovely way of sayin’ how much you love me.
Having my baby
What a lovely way of sayin’ what you’re thinkin’ of me.”
A modern feminist interpretation describes the song as utterly sexist, but we could see Biel getting all doe-eyed as the hunk-a-dunk sang on.
Ok. None of this happened. All we know is what Timberlake Instagrammed: a pic of him kissing the gorgeous actress/model’s baby bump.
No one — not even the Biebz — has ever made me feel what you did the other night. And you know I have a thing for baby-faced blondes.
I have to admit that I worried when you turned up late. I was really afraid you were going to pull a Rihanna on me. But before I could say “hurry up ‘cause you’re taking too long,” you finally showed up, and music never felt so good.
Thirty songs in an hour and a half, you definitely didn’t waste time. I didn’t care much for the Elvis cover, but after “What goes around comes around,” “Cry Me a River,” “Summer Love”, “Senorita” and your adorable attempt at Hebrew slang, I was TKO’d — and in a good way.
You brought sexy back to Tel Aviv and you didn’t even need a “Suit and Tie.” That white button down was just right.
But Justin, there is something more you need to know. It’s about that girl who asked for a selfie mid-concertso that her boyfriend would propose to her. They played you. Yes I know, you don’t understand. How could they be so low? Turns out they’ve been married for like 2 months, and well, they just really wanted that selfie. Some people have no manners.
When you got off stage, I lingered. I knew you wouldn’t cut us off so quickly. And I’m glad you picked “Mirrors” before saying goodbye. By the way, you really got to be careful next time, my uncle who lives 6 miles away said you woke him up with that last one, he was a little pissed.
Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you rocked more than just my body last night and that, aside from the sweaty guy next to me who couldn’t stop moving (I had to take a much needed shower), I had a blast.
Come back and show us a few things anytime you want.
Justin Timberlake landed in Israel and went straight to the Western Wall a day before his scheduled Tel Aviv concert.
Timberlake avoided most of the paparazzi, landing at 3 a.m. on Tuesday and heading straight to the wall with his wife, actress Jessica Biel, and his parents. He posted a photo of himself at the site on Instagram.
“The Holy Land… What an experience. I will never forget this day. #Israel,” he tweeted.
Timberlake is scheduled to perform Wednesday night at Tel Aviv’s Yarkon Park as part of his 20/20 Experience World Tour.
If you’re heading to Israel this summer (or already live there), you’re in for quite a concert lineup. The Rolling Stones, The Back Street Boys and Justin Timberlake have all announced tour dates in the Holy Land over the coming months.
But before the first note is played, some demands must be met. Ynet has a list of 34 things that Justin Timberlake cannot possibly live without on his trip to Israel. These include:
- Two folding padded chairs inside his room behind the scenes and four outside the room.
- Two makeup tables
- 24 glasses (either blue or red)
- One makeup mirror and accessories
- Two large tables for the catering
- One television stereo system
- One “quiet fridge”
- One blender for protein drinks
- One microwave
- One kettle
- An espresso machine and a special coffee table
- One sofa which “must be clean”
- One dining table with four matching chairs
- Machines which blow cold air and drops of water (to cool his entourage)
- Cases of Coca-Cola Zero and Dr. Pepper
- Jamaican beer
- Chocolate and strawberry Twizzlers
- Bowl of fruit with melon, pineapple, kiwi and berries on the table
- Peanut butter
- Jars of honey
- Potato chips
- Strawberry and grape jam
- One loaf of white bread
- One loaf of whole-wheat bread
- One small box of ice
- Heat-resistant cups with lids and handles
- Red wine
- Stella Artois beer and light beers
- Selection of local beer
No Twizzlers, no song.
Are we surprised that Dr. Ruth Westheimer, 84, jumped up out of her seat at a Q&A session following a screening of the movie “The Sessions” and demanded that actress Helen Hunt use contraceptives? Not at all. In fact, we would have been disappointed if she hadn’t. The film is about a sex surrogate, played by Hunt, who introduces a polio-stricken poet to the pleasures of sexual intimacy. “Every psychology class, anybody who has dealings with sexuality and education should see this film,” the famous sexologist said in giving the movie the Dr. Ruth seal of approval.
It was kind of hard to avoid hearing the news last week that Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake got married in Italy. Among the guests (or kidnap victims, as some of the gossip media is putting it) at their destination wedding was funnyman Andy Samberg.
Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan spoke in front of an audience at the University of Tennessee last week. Sure, she talked law, but what really got people’s attention were her stories about hunting with fellow Justice Antonin Scalia. “I’m hoping to bag myself an antelope,” she shared.
The love spell has worn off. Daniel Radcliffe of Harry Potter fame is now single and available, following a breakup with girlfriend Rosie Coker. The couple had met on the “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” set back in 2007.
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