Prepent Day 17+18: The Ties That Bind — And When To Unbind Them.

Image by Jacqueline Nicholls

By Amichai Lau-Lavie September 8, 2017

I did not choose my DNA, my family of origin, my tribal ties. But I am choosing, hopefully wisely, each day and today, which of those ties to honor and strengthen and which ones, when honest, to thank but let go. In a world with so many more relationships than our human mind can likely handle, how do I prioritize affiliations? Can I be more confident that when I say ‘we’ I am truly part of that circle?

To say yes to the “we” that matters most I have to say some no to some circles that don’t feed my soul or support my growth. As a Jewish queer white man, Israeli-American, father, single, New Yorker and rabbi — I belong to many circles and more. Some of these affiliations make me cringe and want out. Some make me, still, always, proud to be labeled a member. Today I focus on the labels, self applied.

On this third Shabbat of Elul, I ripple out from family ties to question, ponder, and honor my tribal ties and labels. Who’s who in the circles of my chosen “we” and which of these so called inner circles truly matter? Is it time to make some difficult choices of letting go or vow to fix from within? Who’s hands in my circles am I squeezing hard with extra appreciation and commitment?

Before unplugging for 24 hours I will observe my inbox to delete or unsubscribe at least 3 groups I’ve joined that I no longer need or want. Sitting around the Sabbath table I invite this conversation with those present: Which “we’s” need some reflection and repair?

Shabbat Shalom.

Rabbi Amichai Lau-Lavie is the founder and spiritual leader of Lab/Shul in Manhattan.

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