The General’s First Fling

Gen. David Petraeus Image by Getty Images
A media narrative is beginning to emerge around the extramarital affair that has ended the career of former CIA director and General David Petraeus, and may indeed tar the reputation of other top military officials including General John Allen.
There are three men and three women in the love-and-betrayal triangle — err, quadrangle, err, hexagon thus far. There’s Petraeus, his biographer-turned paramour Paula Broadwell, Jill Kelley, a Petraeus friend who received threatening emails from Broadwell, and Allen, a general who apparently flirted over email with Kelley. Also among the cast of characters is a “shirtless FBI agent” and Petraeus’s wife, Holly.
The parties involved come off as immature, maybe a little pathetic, and the “scandal” is far more deliciously weird than sordid. Meanwhile, dozens of real unanswered questions about the investigation into the love shenanigans remain.
But Petraeus, this central character, is a military man with whom the corporate media had been accused of carrying on a love affair — a love affair now cut short by his love affair.
That reverence perhaps explains why the press showed an early eagerness to relieve Petraeus of blame by engaging in a little old-fashioned slut shaming. A few instances:
*Chuck Todd tweeted that Kelley “drove folks” to do things — rather than said folks did things themselves.
*Reuters ran a headline saying that “Three women intertwined” in the downfall of Petraeus.
*Pat Robertson declared that it wasn’t Petraeus’s fault because Broadwell threw herself at him, and what could he do?
*The Washington Post covered Broadwell’s “form-fitting clothes”
*Others are coming out of the woodwork talking about Petraeus’s “honor” and the difficulty of resisting a younger woman hell-bent on seduction.
By documenting this double-standard, I am not trying to absolve anyone or act as a moral scold. The women in this story are grownups, and Broadwell is culpable for her occasionally boneheaded actions. But Petraeus, her dramatic foil, is a powerful man who arguably risked his entire career, as well as the security of his staff, for some nookie. Instead of painting him as a rational and powerful person who made a knowing and foolish decision to engage in an affair, pundits who lay the blame at her feet act as though somehow this “great” man — who led thousands of soldiers into life-threatening situations, sometimes to their deaths — couldn’t handle himself around a woman in tight clothes. In this framework, Petraeus seems to be bereft of agency in the affair, hapless, a mere spider caught in Broadwell’s net.
But if he’s such a helpless spider, why was he entrusted with so much power? The two sides of the story don’t add up; the weak-willed man who couldn’t resist feminine wiles, the decisive and mighty general who had been lauded for so long.
As Buzzfeed’s Michael Hastings wrote in a must-read (fabulously NSFW) takedown of Petraeus the general (not Petraeus the man), “his first affair — and one that matters so much more than the fact that he was sleeping with a female or two — was with the media.” Hastings goes on to describe a circle of media enablers who sold Petraeus, and his disastrous “surge” policies overseas, to the public and the politicians in power. Among them was Broadwell.
The Forward is free to read, but it isn’t free to produce

I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward.
Now more than ever, American Jews need independent news they can trust, with reporting driven by truth, not ideology. We serve you, not any ideological agenda.
At a time when other newsrooms are closing or cutting back, the Forward has removed its paywall and invested additional resources to report on the ground from Israel and around the U.S. on the impact of the war, rising antisemitism and polarized discourse.
This is a great time to support independent Jewish journalism you rely on. Make a gift today!
— Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO
Support our mission to tell the Jewish story fully and fairly.
Most Popular
- 1
Opinion The dangerous Nazi legend behind Trump’s ruthless grab for power
- 2
Opinion A Holocaust perpetrator was just celebrated on US soil. I think I know why no one objected.
- 3
Culture Did this Jewish literary titan have the right idea about Harry Potter and J.K. Rowling after all?
- 4
Opinion I first met Netanyahu in 1988. Here’s how he became the most destructive leader in Israel’s history.
In Case You Missed It
-
Culture I have seen the future of America — in a pastrami sandwich in Queens
-
Culture Trump wants to honor Hannah Arendt in a ‘Garden of American Heroes.’ Is this a joke?
-
Opinion Gaza and Trump have left the Jewish community at war with itself — and me with a bad case of alienation
-
Fast Forward Trump administration restores student visas, but impact on pro-Palestinian protesters is unclear
-
Shop the Forward Store
100% of profits support our journalism
Republish This Story
Please read before republishing
We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free, unless it originated with JTA, Haaretz or another publication (as indicated on the article) and as long as you follow our guidelines.
You must comply with the following:
- Credit the Forward
- Retain our pixel
- Preserve our canonical link in Google search
- Add a noindex tag in Google search
See our full guidelines for more information, and this guide for detail about canonical URLs.
To republish, copy the HTML by clicking on the yellow button to the right; it includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to the Forward. It does not include images; to avoid copyright violations, you must add them manually, following our guidelines. Please email us at [email protected], subject line “republish,” with any questions or to let us know what stories you’re picking up.