With or Without Taylor Swift, the Kids Are Alright

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By Susan Cohen February 16, 2016

Several hours before Taylor Swift won best album of the year for the second time at the Grammys, I was privy to an incisive analysis of the pop star. The conversants were approximately ten and eleven years old and were discussing their pop music likes and dislikes at a sports club in New York City. The girls had just finished taking a class and were chatting while putting on their coats. I had just arrived and was going about my business, not expecting what I was about to hear. Unbeknownst to these two girls, however, they were actually having a dialogue about long held beliefs on women. Perhaps it’s better they did not realize the weight of their words just yet.

One of the girls said that Taylor Swift seemed “too perfect.” This was music to my ears. Here was a young, impressionable girl aware that Taylor is not a realistic role model. I was quite glad to be hearing this at a time when so many of her peers are beginning to shift their identities and looks to do what’s cool and popular. She, on the other hand, was not so sure about Swift’s approach.

Little did she know, but her words signified that she is aware that “too perfect” is a troublesome state. It’s a state that is so often pushed on women and women struggle to create through their looks, mannerisms, and thoughts. And at such a young age, this girl realizes something is problematic with being perfect. She might not understand why yet, but she possesses an awareness about it that could be very important when she gets older.

I turned to her and said she was very wise for picking up on that, and that yes, everything Swift does is done with purpose. This has been part of the Swift discussion for some time and there are numerous articles published about how everything she does is done to enhance the brand. I did not go into the specifics or insert myself into the conversation any further. I simply left her with food for thought.

Her co-conversationalist then bought up Lady Gaga and expressed how she likes the singer more now than before. Granted, this girl likely does not remember Gaga of 2008 “Just Dance” fame and some of her early antics, but she understands that Gaga has transformed herself into something more subdued, which the New York Times noted last week in a comparison between Gaga and Beyonce. This girl is picking up on something in Gaga that is a bit more sophisticated, mellow, and approachable. Whatever Gaga’s motivation for rebranding, this pre-teen likes it. I can only infer that she likes that Gaga is not trying to be everyone else; she likes that Gaga has her own identity.

What I took away from this conversation was that these two young ladies have ideas and thoughts that might be counter to their peers. In many ways, their thoughts are more developed than adults who just loop onto whatever is popular or cool. Let’s remember how many adults are emulating Ms. Swift and her squad.

Knowing what is on the horizon for both of them – the world of makeup, shorter skirts, and peer pressure – I wanted to tell them never change. Thinking back on myself, I certainly remember the shift in identity that takes place from pre-teen to acting quote and quote mature as middle school progresses. Yes, part of it is necessary for development, but putting on makeup and acting like mini-adults before a bar or bat mitzvah is just not needed. I understand that now, but my younger self probably did not. The world has changed a lot in the 17 years since I was on the bar/bat mitzvah scene. I have seen what newly crowned teenagers do these days at such occasions, and it’s a whole new ball game.

In an interesting turn of events, hours after this conversation Swift spoke boldly about herself and on behalf of women when accepting her award.

“As the first woman to win album of the year at the Grammys twice, I want to say to all the young women out there: there are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame … But if you just focus on the work and you don’t let those people sidetrack you, someday when you get where you’re going. You’ll look around and you’ll know it was you and the people who love you who put you there and that will be the greatest feeling in the world.”

What she said is exactly what those girls needed to hear. As “too perfect” as she may be, she understands the challenges girls and women face. No amount of red lipstick or perfect hair can protect her from the realities that are out there. She just may be better at deflecting them off publicly, but who knows what she says privately. By addressing the realities, Swift provided a positive, supportive message that these girls and girls everywhere should take to heart. While it certainly does not change the problematic aspects of her, it is a win for Swift and for women. It’s more food for thought for these girls.

Every girl has her own journey to womanhood. She has to figure out how to voice her opinions and what she believes in. All I can do is hope that these girls take these rudimentary thoughts on popular culture and come to understand them and to later apply them to their own womanhood. The only thing I wish I had done was asked them what they thought about Beyonce .

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