NEWS ITEM: New York’s new governor, David Paterson, admitted he indulged in extra-marital activity. The legally blind official succeeded Eliot Spitzer, who resigned as a consequence of sexual transgression.

Dave Paterson’s a laid-back guy!
Who knew he had a roving eye?
His ocular deficiency
Could not deter his jeu d’esprit
Quite absent was the lustful glance
That normally ignites romance.
Instead — perhaps beyond the pale —
He scored with feeling (that is, Braille).
Just like his predecessor pal,
He ventured extra-marital.
Indeed, one wonders, is hot pants
A requisite for governance?
Oh, let us not equivocate:
His mistress worked for New York State!
Her job, our David now declares,
Was intergovernment affairs!
At choosing between wrong and right
This governor is outta sight!

Oy, varf an oyg oyf undzer “Gov.”,
Er fangt shoyn on…er redt fun “love.”
Dave Paterson, a blinder man,
Zet gut genug “to have some fun.”
Er hot gehat “a grand affair,”
(Un oykh zayn vybl — what a pair!)
Hot er amour gemakht in Braille?
(Di gantse geshikhte undz dertseyl!)
Nor yetst veynt er un makht a krekhts,
Far-tshepet durkh nisht-kosher sex.
Vos tut zikh do in New York land?
Er meg bahaltn zikh mit shand
Di zelbe mayse hot pasirt
Mit Spitzer (Eliot), farfirt.
Zey beyde makhn aza tel
Durkh “indiscretions” seksuel
Nu, hert zikh tsu, barimter Dovid:
Fun dem geshlekht kumt nit kayn koved!

Read Stanley Siegelman’s take on the Eliot Spitzer scandal here.

Why I became the Forward’s Editor-in-Chief

You are surely a friend of the Forward if you’re reading this. And so it’s with excitement and awe — of all that the Forward is, was, and will be — that I introduce myself to you as the Forward’s newest editor-in-chief.

And what a time to step into the leadership of this storied Jewish institution! For 129 years, the Forward has shaped and told the American Jewish story. I’m stepping in at an intense time for Jews the world over. We urgently need the Forward’s courageous, unflinching journalism — not only as a source of reliable information, but to provide inspiration, healing and hope.

That’s where you come in. Gifts of any size keep the Forward free and accessible to everyone and ensure we have the resources we need to power the Forward at this critical time for American Jews.

Don't just read the Forward - invest in it. Will you support our work today?

Support our mission to tell the Jewish story fully and fairly.

$120 $180 $360 OTHER AMOUNT