The Gargantuan Gonif
Graphic by Angelie Zaslavsky
NEWS ITEM: Bernard Madoff, a heretofore widely respected New York financier, has been charged by federal authorities with master-minding a massive alleged Ponzi scheme — assumed to be the largest in history. Madoff has played an active role within the Jewish community.
The central point, the vital crux:
He stole some fifty billion bucks!
That’s billion, boychik, with a “B,”
A lot of moola, you’ll agree!
There’s nothing here at which to scoff!
We gasp! With how much he Madoff!
With wizardry and practiced ease
He ripped off huge philanthropies!
Held once in highest of esteem,
Now tainted by his Ponzi scheme,
He deigns, flagrante, to confess
He’s left rich clients penniless.
His list of victims, well-to-do,
Reads like a roll-call of “Who’s Who.”
In fact, he always answered “no”
When low-rank persons proffered dough.
Two sets of ledgers he maintained.
(Legerdemain, and unrestrained!)
Another most unpleasant vibe:
He cheated members of his tribe.
We catch our breath, we’re over-awed
By the extent of Bernie’s fraud.
Did partners share his ill-got gains?
Gelt by association stains!
Shnel tsu der zakh! S‘iz vert a lakh!
Er hot geganvet gor a sakh!
Bilyonen! Alts farfaln! Nu?
M’kvetsht di pleytses: “Vot to do?”
Der boylet finantsist, Madoff,
Vet hobn yetst a fintstern sof.
A filontrop, a hefernik,
Er hot geshpilt a dirty trick.
Oyf raykhe mentshn, orem yetst,
A ganef iz er! (Self-confessed!)
Er hot gehat groys onzen,
A fifiker mazek (zogt Amen!)
Bashvindlen, ober, iz zayn flek,
Zayn shem iz inem optret, drek!
Miton a groshn, oy nisht gut,
Karbones shrayen far zayn blut.
Khoshev nit mer, beyond the pale,
M’darf im varfn shnel in jail !
Opnarn mentshn iz zayn shuld,
Bashtrof im bald (no punches pulled!)
Un lomir makhn do a punkt:
Zayn shvindl, take, iz “farshtunkt”!
Mir Yidn yetst ibern land
Oyf Madoff kukn mit a shand!
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