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DER YIDDISH-VINKL August 22, 2003

Stanley Siegelman seems to be as prolific as his timely, topical poems are terrific. Just a few weeks ago, we ran his poem about the White House with a president named Joseph Lieberman. While readers were still giggling, he sent us a second bit of brittle, brilliant humor on Senator Hillary Clinton’s biography. And now, here is a speedy third one on the Supreme Court’s decision vis-à-vis sodomy. This time, Siegelman provides his own English version.

Baym Supreme Court, Gay iz Okay

Supreme Court hot gemakht a tel

Gevorfn a bombe seksuel

Bay zey iz sodomi okay:

Di gantse velt iz plitsling gey!

(Gedenkt Irakis “brutalized,

Un orem layte Saddam-ized.)

Bistu a Krist? a Muslim? “Heeb”?

Der veg iz fray tsum fraye lib!

Nit mer darfn mentshn take zorgn

Ven m’handlt mit dem organ!

Klog nit, veyn nit, shray nit, oy vey!

Yetst ales ken men — s’iz okay!

Gey hob a lebedik “affair,”

Keyn khasene m’darft nit mer!

Farshlis di tir! Hob nit kayn “guilt,”

M’ken dort tuen vos m’vilt!

Shrayt Jerry Falwell: “Off the bench

Muz geyn a yeder justice-mentsh!”

In Texas yetst iz es gants fayn

Tsu tumlen un a gey tsu zayn,

Pope Paul, in Roym, makht nokh a “ban”

Un zogt “Ikh tu nor Vat-I-can.”

In Eynglish zogt man, “I have fears,

Morality slips in arrears.

‘Goyness, nit gayness’ iz Got’s intention

“Zol shoyn zayn tsvishn ale mentshn.”

Der “clergy” in di USA

Tsetumlt zogn “Let us pray.

’Siz take a farblundzhet velt

“Nur in di pushke leyg arayn gelt!”

In Texas, sheriffs mit “new tricks,”

Nit mer zey tsaygn a groyse biks.

Far Lesbians ‘siz als di beste:

Empowerment tsu ale shvester.

Scalia (Justice) vert in kas:

“In d’rerd di gantse mishegas!”

Der court befelt vos kosher sex is

Un zetst unz in der solar plexus!

Supreme Court: Gay Is Okay

Oh, sex in Texas has been fraught

With misdemeanor, says the court.

But private sodomy’s okay

At least, that’s what the judges say.

(Iraqis once were brutalized

Assaulted, raped and Saddam-ized!)

No matter what is your belief

This ruling offers full relief.

And if you’re homosexual

You’ve won a basic principle.

You need no more bemoan your fate

Your acts are now the norm. Elate!

Enjoy romance, let transports mount!

The old taboos no longer count.

Behind locked doors there is no guilt

Perforce, perform there what thou wilt.

Yells Jerry Falwell, loud and shrill,

“Those Commie justices I’ll kill!”

We have in Texas now green light

For gender-bending, day and night,

Pope Paul proclaims another ban

He says, “I’m doing Vat-I-can.”

His Holiness expresses fears

That morals slip into arrears.

“For those of faith, the proper way

Is hetero. You’re damned if gay.”

The men of cloth in USA

Urge all their flock to fast and pray.

“Your zeal you may now demonstrate

By dropping greenbacks in the plate.”

The Texas lawmen make loud moan

And cut enforcement to the bone.

The lesbians now happy vent:

“We sisters have empowerment.”

Scalia softly moans, “Oh, fudge,

It doesn’t pay to be a judge.”

The court has ruled what kosher sex is

And hit us in the solar plexus.

From hidebound law the court departs

And gives new thrust to private parts.

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