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Santa Claus Furor
Second grader Stevie Cohen dropped a bombshell on his second grade classmates yesterday morning — Santa Claus does not exist. Cohen, retaliating for a stolen eraser, loudly informed his former best friend Arthur Grant that there is no Santa Claus and that Christmas presents come from parents. The announcement turned Miss Richard’s language arts class…
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ADL Discovers the Billionth Anti-Semite
Nearly a year after Abe Foxman left his post as National Director of the Anti-Defamation League he returned to the national gala to celebrate the organization’s discovery of the billionth anti-Semite. “When I began at the ADL there were only a few million Jew-haters scattered across Europe and North America”, he said. “Last year our…
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Backward Reveals Newly Absorbent Napkin-Format Print Edition
In a letter to subscribers, new Backward owner, the virile Sheldon Adelson announced that the newspaper’s print edition is undergoing an extensive redesign to allow this august paper to be printed entirely on a small paper napkin. “In the old days, my father used the Backward to wrap the fish he sold from his pushcart,”…
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Cars Observe the Fourth Commandment, or Do They?
Self-driving cars. Can they drive themselves to shul? And if they can, are they part of the minyan?
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Putting the Rump Into (the Name) Trump
‘So, President Trump, when did you stop beating your wives?” Sounds like a trick question, but actually it’s a Turkic question. A century ago, Tāztı Çeksmikz, the Turkish general infamous for long-winded speeches and insisting on moustaches as part of the military uniform, was so disliked by his soldiers that they referred to him initially…
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Be Your Own Buber!
Everyone wants to look like renowned Jewish philosopher Martin Buber! Now you can too! Scroll down to the bottom for the clip ‘n’ wear beard, but see how your heroes are rocking the philosophical facial hair. Be like the Notorious Ruth ‘Buber’ Ginsburg. Or, perhaps you are a fan of the Goodfella of Gemara, Martin…
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Local Jewish Mother Relieved Son Is Considering Intermarriage
“It’s not that I wouldn’t be welcoming if he married a Jewish girl, it’s just that the Catholic girl he’s seeing really gets him, you know? And that’s certainly more important to me than thousands of years of cultural continuity.”
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Barack Obama Caption Competition
When Barack Obama went to visit Jane Eisner at the Sheldon Adelson Backward White House, our photographers were on hand to capture the moment. We asked our readers what they were saying or thinking and we had literally tens of responses. We are delighted to announce the winner of the caption competition, who wins an…
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Y.U. Comes Up With Shortlist To Replace Richard Joel
As the flagship institution of American Modern Orthodoxy is looking for a new president, a number of prominent rabbis — including Shmuley Boteach and Jonathan Sacks — have been overlooked. “We are looking for someone with the right qualifications,” said a university spokesman. “We need someone who can work with the Torah-observant community but who…
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AIPAC Acts to Manage Trump
AIPAC used its opening plenary session Sunday night and Hillary Clinton’s speech Monday morning to dampen the controversy around Donald Trump. Conference leadership requested a civil reception for all speakers; subtly criticized Trump’s message and made the unusual move of not introducing presidential candidates who are also speaking — enabling them to avoid introducing Trump….
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Troubled JCC Association in Fresh Disarray With Surprise Departure of CEO
The sudden departure of the new executive director of the umbrella organization for Jewish Community Centers across North America is raising questions about the future of the troubled group. Stephen Hazan Arnoff’s resignation from the helm of the Jewish Community Center Association of North America, first reported , comes just 14 months into his 18-month…
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Yiddish די קאָרעספּאָנדענץ צווישן צוויי יונגע שרײַבערינס נאָכן חורבןThe post-Holocaust letters between two young female writers
חוה ראָזענפֿאַרב און זעניע לאַרסאָן זענען געווען נאָענטע חבֿרטעס ביז זעניע האָט פּובליקירט זייערע בריוו אין 1971.
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