How to Wear Hanukkah Swag Without Offending Anyone

Image by Screenshot: Amazon

By Maia Efrem November 10, 2015

♫ On the first day of Hanukkah my true love gave to me, a dreidel with a stripper on top.♫

Not even two weeks after the offensive , we have entered the Hanukkah season minefield.

As if Jewish women don’t deal with enough stereotypes, a novelty item just sprinkled some salt on the wound. According to Kveller Nordstrom was forced to take down a Hanukkah sweater with the words “Chai Maintenance” and “Hanukkah J.A.P.” embroidered next to a Star of David and a menorah from their website.

Unsurprisingly, the male version of the novelty top just featured a cute “Oy Vey,” adding the kitsch without any of the negative spoiled/rich/brat connotation.

Image by Kveller

All this had us thinking — what other crazy Hanukkah swag is out there in the world of online retailers?

Here’s what we found:

As soon as Seth Rogen’s “The Night Before” hits theaters, this star-knit-wonder will be at every Ugly Holiday party come December.

Image by Night Before

You can have a little “Annie Hall” Woody Allen action going on for eight crazy nights.

Image by Screenshot: Tipsy Elves

What? No, just no.

Image by Screenshot: Zazzle

Step 1: Crown Heights sweater. Step 2: Monsey, New Square and Williamsburg?

Image by Screenshot: Amazon

See, you can look like a schmuck without being a schmuck!

Image by Screenshot: Amazon

We’re not going to lie, this is really cute.

Image by Screenshot: Amazon

Whoever designed this sweater: the Jerk Store called, they’re running out of you!

Image by Screenshot: Zazzle

Can we all agree right now to never, ever, ever buy this?

Image by Screenshot: Amazon

The only thing offensive about this is the searing pain it causes our eyes. Otherwise, go for it!

Image by Screenshot: Amazon

Everything about this T-shirt is amazing. May the Schwartz be with you!

Image by Screenshot: Etsy

This reindeer might be confusing Hanukkah with Rosh Hashanah, but thanks for the good wishes either way!

Image by Screenshot: Amazon

Hanukkah Harry agrees.

Image by Screenshot: Amazon

Subtly festive.

Image by Screenshot: Zazzle

Keep warm with an appropriate sweater and Happy Hanukkah!

Maia Efrem is the former research editor and assistant to the editor and was also responsible for the Forward’s annual Salary Survey. Previously she served as the editor of Blognik Beat, a blog written by students who emigrated from or have ties to the Former Soviet Union. Maia is a graduate of Hunter College and Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism.

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