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The Schmooze

Madonna And The Fat Jew Prove Jews Are Doing A Bad Job Of Controlling The Media

Jews, let’s talk. This “controlling the media” thing is not going well.

It is all very nice and good to get some of the most powerful jobs in our nation’s government, but it really only counts if you don’t also use your power to help defend Nazis.

It is a true kiddush hashem to invent a history-altering social connectivity platform, but you cannot then use it to sell advertisements for “how to burn Jews.”

And it is really something to rocket to fame under the name “The Fat Jew” but you cannot then team up with Madonna to create a cracked out, nightmarish skincare advertisement. These things really undercut all of us, guys!!!

In a new ad in advance of her forthcoming skincare line “MDNA,” we visit Madonna and the unruly internet personality “Fat Jew” (Josh Ostrovsky,) in an all-white purgatory. Three silent Asian women massage and pedicure Madge and Fats as the stars spray rosé into each others’ mouths and talk about stealing a Filipino man’s driver’s license. They are both on Ecstasy.

My one and only people. My fellow children of Israel. Rising to the top of government, media, and entertainment should not manifest in creating a weird racial hierarchy with unfunny jokes, laced through with a desperate fear of aging. That is the least Jewish thing imaginable. We didn’t leave Egypt to watch an airbrushed-into-invisibility Madonna burp into a camera.

Let’s end this hell and devote our energy to creating a “Fiddler on the Roof” sequel where all proceeds go to ending fascism before it’s too late and rosé-covered Jews are being burned with the support of the government.

Jenny Singer is a writer for the Forward. You can reach her at [email protected] or on Twitter @jeanvaljenny

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