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The Schmooze

This Is The Dream Cast For The ‘Fire And Fury’ TV Adaptation

“Fire And Fury: Inside The Trump Whitehouse” will be developed into a TV show, it was announced on Wednesday. It would be “unpatriotic,” even bordering on “treasonous,” for us to not speculate about our dream cast. Here are our picks for actors who could portray the wild and wacky characters Wolff dreamed up* in the Trump White House.

*observed

Donald Trump: James Spader

Image by Getty Images (Collage)

Sometimes it takes a real genius to portray… Donald Trump. Spader has a knack for creating characters who combine lunacy with raging egoism. Forget Baldwin, we need an incisive portrayal, not a broad caricature. Give the people Spader.

Melania Trump: Mila Kunis

Image by Getty Images/Collage

Melania, meet Mila. The younger, Jewish you.

Ivanka Trump: Stormy Daniels

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This one was a no-brainer.

Jared: An unknown ingenue plucked from the Yeshiva University freshmen class

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Any apple-cheeked, nervously giggling bar mitzvah boy might shine in this role.

Steve Bannon: Alec Baldwin

Image by Getty Images

Alec Baldwin does a meh Trump impression, but an amazing impression of an aging millionaire who is obsessed with defending Woody Allen’s honor. He’s a character actor, not a caricaturist, and he would do great things with Bannon.

John Kelly: Jk Simmons

Image by Getty Images/Collage

Wouldn’t this be delightful?

Hope Hicks: Kerri Russell

Image by Getty Images/Collage

Personally, I am ready for a Hope Hicks-only feature film (no doubt “Fire And Fury” will inspire a few decades of spinoff content.)

Sarah Huckabee Sanders: Sarah Silverman

Image by Getty Images/Collage

Sarah. Sarah. Synergy. Silverman should start writing her Emmy-acceptance speech right now. I hope she holds nothing back.

Jenny Singer is a writer for the Forward. You can reach her at [email protected] or on Twitter @jeanvaljenny

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