Andy Cohen of Bravo. Becky Scott of the Schmooze. Two such different people and yet, if you look closely, nearly indistinguishable from one another.
Both of us get paid to issue opinions very few people care to hear. Both of us struggle to conceal the little fissures of delight that run down our spines when relaying news that is sure to ruin the day of an important cultural figure. And I’m certain both of us enjoy a nice cocktail at the end of a long work day.
Yet, there is a dark streak running through Andy Cohen that I like to think is lacking in myself. You can hear it in its full glory in this recording of him discussing this past weekend’s feud between Sarah Jessica Parker and Kimberly Cattrall.
“This is a woman who is grieving the loss of her brother,” said Cohen on his radio show, his words undercut by a discernible glee in his voice. “It’s tragic.”
Cohen was responding to the Instagram post Cattrall shared on Saturday, accusing Sarah Jessica Parker of exploiting the tragic death of Cattrall’s brother to re-up her good girl image.
Cohen goes on to characterize Cattrall as a sadly emotionally unstable inconvenience attacking the character of tiny, tiny, innocent Sarah Jessica Parker.
“What was she supposed to do? Say something bad?” said Cohen, proving once and for all that he will never understand women and the incredible range of expression we have at our disposal.
Ultimately, Cohen ruled that it was “a cat fight of one”, perhaps dismissing years of suffering Cattrall underwent at the hands of her “Sex and the City” costars.
Oh, Andy. It’s like we are twin princesses grown from the same magic plant for a barren queen — and yet, it’s moments like these I feel so far away from you.
Becky Scott is the editor of The Schmooze. Follow her on Twitter, @arr_scott