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The Schmooze

Jerry Seinfeld Turned Down $100 Million To Be A ‘Family Man’

After so many years perfecting his craft, Jerry Seinfeld told us yesterday that “jokes aren’t even real.” Before you judge his sanity or compare his existential comment to that of Jim Carrey’s 2017 breakdown where he claimed that Jim Carrey does not actually exist, let us explain. The 64-year-old actor was trying to explain to a New York Times reporter why he doesn’t believe in political correctness in comedy.

“People assume that when you say something that you believe it. It’s purely comedic invention. You know, I do this whole bit about Pop-Tarts and how much I love them. I don’t love Pop-Tarts. It’s just funny. It’s funny to say it, so I say it.”

During the interview, he talks about the 10th season of “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee” and the distraction of talking to celebrities while driving a stick shift. It was recently discovered that Jerry leaves wildly funny restaurant reviews on Google Maps after he dines with guest comedians on his show.

Exhibit A:

Image by Google Maps

He also admitted to skipping over Seinfeld episodes when they appear on his TV screen — which is something, of course, a true fan would never do. “You can’t ever look at it again,” he says of working on a creative project for so long. That same show is the reason why he turned down $100 million dollars. After it’s 9th season, NBC Executive Warren Littlefield, offered Jerry $5 million dollars an episode to keep it running for another season. But he turned it down.

“[Seinfeld] came to me and said, ‘I don’t have a life, I’m not married, I don’t have kids,’” Littlefield said. “We gave it everything we had, he was tempted, but in the end it was a quality of life decision,” Littlefield explains. Now, with a wife, three kids, and a Netflix show, he doesn’t regret his decision.

When prompted about his ludicrous decision, he says: “It was the perfect moment, and the proof that it was the right moment is the number of questions you’re still asking me about it. The most important word in art is ‘proportion.’ How much? How long is this joke going to be? How many words? How many minutes? And getting that right is what makes it art or what makes it mediocre.”

May you, too, be comfortable enough to turn down $100 million dollars some day soon.

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