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The Schmooze

The Internet Weighs In On Michael Cohen’s Prison Time

Michael Cohen, longtime lawyer to President Donald Trump, was sentenced to three years in prison on Wednesday morning.

Cohen will serve time after admitting to having illegally paid women, including Stormy Daniels, to keep quiet about their relations to Trump during the 2016 presidential campaign, and for lying to congress about a Trump building project in Russia. Cohen will also have to pay nearly two million dollars in fees and restitution.

Out in the public square, there is all the rejoicing, quiet terror, smugness, and ice-skating tweets we’ve come to expect when the Trump administration births a major news story. Here are some of the wildest reactions:

Michael Cohens everywhere poured one out for Michael Cohen:

Jonathan Van Ness of “Queer Eye” demonstrated Cohen taking a tumble:

Jewish Twitter star “Oh No She Twitnt” did the math on Cohen’s time:

Fans celebrated Cohen’s silverlining:

Some wished Michael a mazal:

And Cohen was compared to another late, great fallen hero:

Jenny Singer is the deputy lifestyle editor for the Forward. You can reach her at [email protected] or on Twitter @jeanvaljenny

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