More stories here… Federal regulations that safeguard the hydration of citizens have fallen afoul of the church state divide when, citing concerns about water-borne micro-organisms in potable water supplies, Rabbi Detrop of the Orthodox Onion declared water nonkosher. “We have been able to make limited supplies of OO koshered water available at $5 a bottle,”…
The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy! More stories here… Taking a cue from on-demand digital streaming services like Hulu and Spotify, God announced today that He would no longer be everywhere all the time, and would focus on a pay-per-miracle model for distributing His compassion. “In today’s crowded religious landscape, it…
The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy! More stories here… A slow-moving tragedy evolves in the Galapagos.
More stories here… “It was almost like a message from God,” said Noah, who lives in the Rockaways section of Queens. “The neighbors seem much more supportive this time around. Some of them have asked to book tickets.” Noah said that he was interviewing animals in twos for the journey, but that the job was…
WANTED: LEADER FOR MAJOR WORLD RELIGION Preferred qualifications: Partially or fully abnegated selfhood. Personal connection with the godhead. Experience running large organizations. Pleasant manner. Required qualifications: Must not have history of sexually or physically abusing children, women or congregants. Must not have history of covering up other leaders’ sexual or physical abuse of children, women…
The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy! More stories here… A Backward spinoff — the amusingly named “Forward” — was at the center of a campaign to make celebrities sexy again. “We hope some of that newspaper stardust will rub off on us dowdy singers,” said Katy Perry, who sings Yiddish songs…
Meanwhile, nearby softcore erotica store, The Hole Megillah, reports unexpectedly high foot traffic from the ultra-Orthodox. The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy! More stories here…
More stories here… Some of the Superhumanistic Jews who made the Backward possible in 5773 were Mr. Dr. Simon Shaw, Karen “K-Lo” Loew, Jason “Jar-El” Reich, “Demographic” Rob Kutner, Jonathan “JZ” Zacks, Rabbi Dr. Jay Michaelson, Gail “Gail” Lerner, Larry Cohler-Esses (leader of the Cohler-Essenes), “Sir” Paul Berger, Prof. Dr. Eddy Portnoy and the Rt….
אַמאָל זענען די פּייטנים, מיסטישע דיכטער־וויזיאָנערן, געווען אויבן־אָן בײַ די פֿראַנצויזישע און דײַטשישע ייִדן.
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