How Should We Honor the Deceased at a Simcha?

Dear Bintel Brief:

My son’s bar mitzvah is later this month, and I am so proud of him. At the event, he has expressed a desire to honor his mother, my wife, who died last year after a long illness. But he has also expressed concern that he would be injecting a dose of sadness into what should be a happy event.

Can you offer any suggestions on how we can acknowledge his mother’s absence, all the while keeping the occasion celebratory rather than solemn? And should a tribute to her take place during the service or at the party afterwards?

Thank you.


Ed Koch Replies:

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How Should We Honor the Deceased at a Simcha?

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