Oppressive autarch of the Backward since 2009. Brooks no dissent.
Ian Fist
By Ian Fist
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News Bernie Sanders Embraces His New Jet Ski Role In The Trump Era
After the general election, senator Bernie Sanders was asked to reach out to America. So he undertook a national tour — on jet skis. At a crowded waterside meeting with reporters he was voluble in his defense of the economic policies he touted during his candidacy for the Democratic nomination and vituperative in his condemnation…
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News ADL Discovers the Billionth Anti-Semite
Nearly a year after Abe Foxman left his post as National Director of the Anti-Defamation League he returned to the national gala to celebrate the organization’s discovery of the billionth anti-Semite. “When I began at the ADL there were only a few million Jew-haters scattered across Europe and North America”, he said. “Last year our…
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Culture Pain and Ponce Are Deli’s Main Ingredients
As you enter the narrow doorway of Brooklyn’s Pearlstein + Dung, the first thing that greets you is the sparse shtetl décor and the pungent odor of artisanal cuisine. With furnishings based on drawings from a crumbling book in Slovakian synagogue basement, the shop is the brainchild of Ari and Zounette Pearlstein. Ari strokes his…
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Culture 50 Sheitels of Grey
For a section of the population, a bondage and domination film is an excuse to not only let its hair down, but take it off entirely. For Chani, a self-described “Ortho-fox,” the book and film (which she hasn’t at all, ever, chas v’shalom, ever read or seen or even really heard of) are confirmation that…
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Culture The Haredi Sect Run By Women
Chaya and Mushke Bath-Sheleg, the daughters of a highly respected rabbi and rebbetzin in the Memeti sect have been leading a growing community of ultra-Orthodox Jews in Brooklyn since their parents’ death in the late 1990s. On the eve of their community’s historic move to Kiryas Shalom in upstate New York they broke their silence…
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Culture Backward Exclusive: Zuckerberg on Bloomberg’s ‘Nobel’ Prize
Mark Zuckerberg is livid. “I can’t believe they gave the Genesis Prize to that tiny tiny man,” the founder, CEO and control-freak-in-chief of YouFace spluttered while sipping a latte from a Starbucks in San Francisco, a small town he owns in Northern California. “I mean, it’s not like he, needs the money. Those of us…
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Culture God Shifts to Pay-Per-Miracle Service
The Backward is the Forward’s annual satirical Purim edition. Enjoy! More stories here… Taking a cue from on-demand digital streaming services like Hulu and Spotify, God announced today that He would no longer be everywhere all the time, and would focus on a pay-per-miracle model for distributing His compassion. “In today’s crowded religious landscape, it…
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Culture Über Buber
More stories here… Some of the Superhumanistic Jews who made the Backward possible in 5773 were Mr. Dr. Simon Shaw, Karen “K-Lo” Loew, Jason “Jar-El” Reich, “Demographic” Rob Kutner, Jonathan “JZ” Zacks, Rabbi Dr. Jay Michaelson, Gail “Gail” Lerner, Larry Cohler-Esses (leader of the Cohler-Essenes), “Sir” Paul Berger, Prof. Dr. Eddy Portnoy and the Rt….
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