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ADL Discovers the Billionth Anti-Semite

Nearly a year after Abe Foxman left his post as National Director of the Anti-Defamation League he returned to the national gala to celebrate the organization’s discovery of the billionth anti-Semite.

“When I began at the ADL there were only a few million Jew-haters scattered across Europe and North America”, he said. “Last year our global poll proved that there were nearly a billion around the globe. This was a tremendous achievement.”

He went on to praise his successor, Jonathan Greenblatt, for sending a special team of explorers deep into the Amazon jungle in search of a tribe that though largely beyond human contact had generated rumors of anti-Semitic beliefs and behaviors. Though, when the ADL team arrived, the tribe seemed to be peaceful and tolerant, during the three-week stay by the 20 Jewish researchers — who conducted several tests a day, including translating their dietary requirements into the native tongue — the tribe did turn violent and frustrated proving there were indeed they were anti-Semites. And N’Gumbyo was the billionth.


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