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The Madoff Mash

Bernard Madoff got in his first prison fight last week. And according to an account in the New York Post, the convicted Ponzi schemer emerged victorious.

The bout was no Ali vs. Foreman. Apparently, Madoff, 71, who is serving a 150-year sentence at a federal prison in Butner, N.C., got into a heated argument with another inmate, who is in his 60s, over the state of the stock market. Then the two settled the matter prison-brawl-style, sort of: “The inmate pushed Madoff, who shoved back harder with both hands, causing his attacker to stumble.”

As the attacker tried to stand up straight, Madoff hovered over him red-faced and glaring, eyewitnesses said. According to the New York Post:

The stunned attacker went chicken and took off — allowing Madoff to collect some ‘cred’ among his fellow prisoners. ‘”I didn’t think Bernie had it in him. He got the best of him; he was really aggressive, and the other guy was in shock that he fought back,” an inmate said.

Apparently Madoff needn’t worry about a shiv in his back — at least not from the guy he pushed. The two inmates were spotted the next day talking amicably, the Post reports.

Meanwhile, Madoff imitators will be lurking on every corner this Halloween — although these schemers are after your candy, not your money. Madoff masks are a big hit with the costumed crowd: Rubie’s Costume Company has distributed more than 15,000 rubber Madoff masks to stores across the country, according to the Associated Press.

As if senior citizens brawling over the stock market in our federal prisons wasn’t scary enough.

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