Image by Lior Zaltzman

Beat your chest once for each infraction

I Am guilty

I screwed up Bigtime

I Co-slept

I Drank too much wine

I let you Eat candy

I put you in Front of the laundry as a form of entertainment

I Gave you Gum

I was a Hypocrite

I let you cry It out

I Joked about leaving you at home when you didn’t put on your shoes

I Kidded that you were slower than a snail when getting your socks on

I Lost my temper

I Made empty threats

I Never played in the sandbox with you

I Overscheduled

I Promised too many treats

I Quenched your thirst with non-organic sugary juice

I ignored what I Read in the magazines

I Stared into space when I should have been listening

I Taught you how to curse

I Understimulated

I also drank too much Vodka

I Weaned too early

I eXpected you to potty train before the age of 3

I let you watch too much Youtube

I am responsible for thousands of Ziplock bags in landfills

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