Yom Kippur Confession for Guilt Ridden Mothers
Beat your chest once for each infraction
I Am guilty
I screwed up Bigtime
I Co-slept
I Drank too much wine
I let you Eat candy
I put you in Front of the laundry as a form of entertainment
I Gave you Gum
I was a Hypocrite
I let you cry It out
I Joked about leaving you at home when you didn’t put on your shoes
I Kidded that you were slower than a snail when getting your socks on
I Lost my temper
I Made empty threats
I Never played in the sandbox with you
I Overscheduled
I Promised too many treats
I Quenched your thirst with non-organic sugary juice
I ignored what I Read in the magazines
I Stared into space when I should have been listening
I Taught you how to curse
I Understimulated
I also drank too much Vodka
I Weaned too early
I eXpected you to potty train before the age of 3
I let you watch too much Youtube
I am responsible for thousands of Ziplock bags in landfills