Can a Non-Jewish Woman Write Frum Erotica?

Ai Weiwei handcuff sculpture. Image by Getty Images
When I saw a tweet referencing an “Orthodox Jewish BDSM erotic romance” while waiting on line at a bakery just now, I immediately knew that this would be a Sisterhood post. I had so many questions! And still have plenty; this was about an hour ago, so I can’t say I’ve (yet) read the book in question.
What I can say: The book is Craving Flight, by Tamsen Parker, found via (and reviewed by) Rachel Kramer Bussel. It’s a novella about a 37-year-old newly-Orthodox Jewish woman, Tzipporah Berger, who, going by the descriptions, enjoys a steamy romantic life with her butcher husband with an “intimidating size,” which, in the summary’s context, seems to suggest he is a taller, larger man.
To save you the Googling: No, Parker is not Orthodox. Nor is she Jewish, period.
There are, I suppose, reasons to find this premise problematic. Is it Orientalist to eroticize a closed-off minority religious community you’re not a part of? Almost definitely. (Imagine the equivalent, but about religious Muslims.) It doesn’t take delving into contemporary discussions of literature and cultural appropriation to see why the bare-bones facts here might merit a huh.
And yet, I — a secular Jew — am not finding myself troubled by this book’s existence, or its author’s identity. As Parker notes in the above-linked article, she received assistance from “a friend who is Orthodox Jewish, and a romance author in her own right,” KK Hendin. A sensitivity reader, then, or at least someone to help with background details. It sounds like she did plenty of research. And — and this is what we need to be thinking about, where literary diversity is concerned — it doesn’t sound as if Parker’s frum BDSM novella is diverting attention from other, Jewish-authored frum BDSM novellas. And if Shosha Pearl approves, it’s fine by me.
Phoebe Maltz Bovy edits the Sisterhood, and can be reached at [email protected]. Her book, The Perils of “Privilege”, will be published by St. Martin’s Press in March 2017.
The Forward is free to read, but it isn’t free to produce

I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward.
Now more than ever, American Jews need independent news they can trust, with reporting driven by truth, not ideology. We serve you, not any ideological agenda.
At a time when other newsrooms are closing or cutting back, the Forward has removed its paywall and invested additional resources to report on the ground from Israel and around the U.S. on the impact of the war, rising antisemitism and polarized discourse.
This is a great time to support independent Jewish journalism you rely on. Make a gift today!
— Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO
Support our mission to tell the Jewish story fully and fairly.
Most Popular
- 1
Fast Forward Ye debuts ‘Heil Hitler’ music video that includes a sample of a Hitler speech
- 2
Opinion It looks like Israel totally underestimated Trump
- 3
Culture Cardinals are Catholic, not Jewish — so why do they all wear yarmulkes?
- 4
Fast Forward Student suspended for ‘F— the Jews’ video defends himself on antisemitic podcast
In Case You Missed It
-
Culture Should Diaspora Jews be buried in Israel? A rabbi responds
-
Fast Forward In first Sunday address, Pope Leo XIV calls for ceasefire in Gaza, release of hostages
-
Fast Forward Huckabee denies rift between Netanyahu and Trump as US actions in Middle East appear to leave out Israel
-
Fast Forward Federal security grants to synagogues are resuming after two-month Trump freeze
-
Shop the Forward Store
100% of profits support our journalism
Republish This Story
Please read before republishing
We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free, unless it originated with JTA, Haaretz or another publication (as indicated on the article) and as long as you follow our guidelines.
You must comply with the following:
- Credit the Forward
- Retain our pixel
- Preserve our canonical link in Google search
- Add a noindex tag in Google search
See our full guidelines for more information, and this guide for detail about canonical URLs.
To republish, copy the HTML by clicking on the yellow button to the right; it includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to the Forward. It does not include images; to avoid copyright violations, you must add them manually, following our guidelines. Please email us at [email protected], subject line “republish,” with any questions or to let us know what stories you’re picking up.