Skip To Content
Get Our Newsletter

Support the Forward

Funded by readers like you DonateSubscribe
Back to Opinion

Perry Does Letterman With ‘Top 10 Excuses’

David Letterman just presented an amazing Top Ten list: “Top Ten Rick Perry Excuses,” presented by Texas Governor Rick Perry (for real). He actually did a pretty good job – got some outright laughs, hammed it up just right. If anything could save his candidacy, this might have been it.

No. 10: Actually, there were three reasons I messed up last night. One, the nerves. Two, the headache. And three – uh – um – oops.

No. 9: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I think things went well.

No. 8: Hey, I was up late last night watching Dancing With the Stars.

No. 7: I thought the debate was tonight.

No. 6: Hey, listen – you try concentrating with Mitt Romney smiling at you. That is one handsome dude.

No. 5: Um, El Nino?

No. 4: I had a five-hour energy drink – six hours before the debate.

No. 3: I really hoped they’d get me on my favorite talk show, but instead I ended up here.

No. 2: I wanted to help take the heat off my buddy Herman Cain.

No. 1: I just learned Justin Bieber is my father.

See if you can catch it on video. It was followed by a guy shooting a flaming dart out of his nose and another guy playing “Stars and Stripes Forever” on a bicycle pump. High quality stuff.




Republish This Story

Please read before republishing

We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free under an Attribution-Non Commercial-No Derivatives Creative Commons license as long as you follow our republishing guidelines, which require that you credit Foward and retain our pixel. See our full guidelines for more information.

To republish, copy the HTML, which includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline, and credit to Foward. Have questions? Please email us at

We don't support Internet Explorer

Please use Chrome, Safari, Firefox, or Edge to view this site.