Skip To Content
JEWISH. INDEPENDENT. NONPROFIT.

Support the Forward

Funded by readers like you DonateSubscribe
The Schmooze

The War on Hanukkah is Real — Your Chocolate Maccabees are Really Santas

Dear friends, winter is coming. And with the cold wind comes the war on Hanukkah. It’s real, and it’s Santa shaped.

When Jennie Rivlin Roberts, owner of , ordered these cute maccabees made out of chocolate — the very same chocolate used to make their seasonal gelt coins — to sell to her Jewish customers, she probably thought: They’re adorable, Jewish, kosher and delicious. What could possibly go wrong?

Chocolate trojan horses Image by Modern Tribe

Little did she know.

In fact, those cute maccabees are but a chocolaty Trojan horse! Inside the wrapping of proud foil Jewish warriors, an army of Santas is hidden, ready to remind unsuspecting Jewish children their holiday is so second-rate, it can’t even afford its own Maccabee-shaped chocolate molds.

Observe:

Image by Modern Tribe

When Rivlin Roberts found out about this deception, she was obviously shocked: “The next thing I did was call our supplier, who are way more observant Jews than I, who basically said, ‘Yeah, what of it?’ They said they couldn’t afford to purchase a new chocolate mold and chose, instead, to use the chocolate company’s Santa mold. His question to me was, “is this blasphemous or offensive to someone, what’s the big deal”?”

Blasphemy! Hanukkah, the festival of lights, one of the greatest Jewish holidays that has no basis in the Bible, deserves better than second hand Christmas molds!

My friends, it’s time to take on this battle against our beloved holiday. Others are already massing on the front lines, and we must join them. Only we can make Hanukkah great again!

Perhaps if we all pool our gelt together, we can help the company purchase new molds.

In the meantime, ModernTribe is keeping its costumers up-to-date about what it plans to do with the previously purchased chocolate.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments.

[H/T Heeb]

Republish This Story

Please read before republishing

We’re happy to make this story available to republish for free, unless it originated with JTA, Haaretz or another publication (as indicated on the article) and as long as you follow our guidelines. You must credit the Forward, retain our pixel and preserve our canonical link in Google search.  See our full guidelines for more information, and this guide for detail about canonical URLs.

To republish, copy the HTML by clicking on the yellow button to the right; it includes our tracking pixel, all paragraph styles and hyperlinks, the author byline and credit to the Forward. It does not include images; to avoid copyright violations, you must add them manually, following our guidelines. Please email us at [email protected], subject line “republish,” with any questions or to let us know what stories you’re picking up.

We don't support Internet Explorer

Please use Chrome, Safari, Firefox, or Edge to view this site.