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The Schmooze

Zach Braff Accepts His Place As Face Of Russian Erectile Dysfunction Ads

Rabbi Levitas of Yavneh would say, “Be very, very humble in spirit, for the hope of man is worms.” Zach Braff has clearly been reading his Talmud and his Forward, because he has humbled himself since voicing his hope, last week, that he resembles the new Bachelor contestant. That hope, as we know, is not but worms.

We don’t know anything about the world to come. Perhaps we are all the new Bachelor in the world to come. Perhaps we all have our passion projects crowdfunded within the hour, and we never get caught punching Porsche-painting teens on Punk’d.

But the Rabbis say we cannot focus on that world. We must focus on Olam Hazeh, the world of the now. And in the world of the now Zach Braff does not look like a professional sex symbol, he looks like a Russian erectile dysfunction spokesperson. And he has graciously admitted it.

Braff posted a grainy Russian advertisement of himself, clearly ripped without permission from his days as a doctor on the TV show scrubs.

Russian-speaking fans quickly clarified the meaning of the ad copy.

Braff responded, “I am the face of Russian boner problems. #blessed.” #blessed — exactly what Rabbi Levitas would say.

Jenny Singer is a writer for the Forward. You can reach her at [email protected] or on Twitter @jeanvaljenny

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