Zach Braff Continues To Insist He Looks Like The Bachelor Scoundrel
Image by Forward Montage/Getty
Zachary Braff is capitalizing on a moment of national tragedy in a last ditch attempt to convince the world that he is hot. Once again, it falls to a national Jewish publication with Socialist roots to stop him in his tracks.
We can’t control senseless evil, specifically “Bachelor” star Arie Luyendyk’s sadistic heart-stomping of fiancée Rebecca Kufrin this week on national television. But we can work to stop those opportunistic, forehead-first cads who would refocus the Kufrin/Luyendyk narrative on themselves. Yes, ladies and gentleman, my aging arch-nemesis Zach Braff has once again attempted to hypnotize the world into thinking that he is the doppelgänger of a much younger, suaver man — Arie Luyendyk. In response to the shocking twist on Monday night’s “Bachelor” episode, Braff tweeted, “I don’t want to look like this f****r anymore.
One begins to suspect that Braff did not read the decisive journalism this very outlet published on this issue back in September, when the 42 year-old first espoused a similarity to Luyendyk. A reminder:
Arie Luyendyk Jr, former racer driver, current realtor, future bachelor No. 22, is a man whom we have met before (literally, he was on Season 8 of “The Bachelorette”). No one could ever confuse him with a weepy, meep-y, Kickstarter enthusiast named Zach Braff. Luyendyk Jr. is a tousled-haired Arizonian. Braff starred on Broadway in an unsuccessful Woody Allen musical. Luyendyk has “Jr.” at the end of his name. Braff’s full name is the immensely punchable “Zachary Israel Braff.”
Luyendyk races cars. Braff races all other men to be the one who annoys me the most. They could not be easier to tell apart.
Zach Braff, we all know how much you like to start crowdfunding campaigns. If you feel moved to do something about this catastrophe, please feel free to donate to Becca Kufrin’s wine fund.
Jenny Singer is a writer for the Forward. You can reach her at [email protected] or on Twitter @jeanvaljenny
I hope you appreciated this article. Before you go, I’d like to ask you to please support the Forward’s award-winning journalism this Passover.
In this age of misinformation, our work is needed like never before. We report on the news that matters most to American Jews, driven by truth, not ideology.
At a time when newsrooms are closing or cutting back, the Forward has removed its paywall. That means for the first time in our 126-year history, Forward journalism is free to everyone, everywhere. With an ongoing war, rising antisemitism, and a flood of disinformation that may affect the upcoming election, we believe that free and open access to Jewish journalism is imperative.
Readers like you make it all possible. Right now, we’re in the middle of our Passover Pledge Drive and we still need 300 people to step up and make a gift to sustain our trustworthy, independent journalism.
Make a gift of any size and become a Forward member today. You’ll support our mission to tell the American Jewish story fully and fairly.
— Rachel Fishman Feddersen, Publisher and CEO
Join our mission to tell the Jewish story fully and fairly.
Only 300 more gifts needed by April 30
