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The Schmooze

The Funniest Jewish Rage Tweets About The College Admissions Scam

A bombshell news story on Tuesday revealed that at least 50 people, among them Hollywood star Felicity Huffman and fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli, have been charged by federal prosecutors for paying to falsify their children’s test scores and bribing their way into top universities. Parents as well as college employees are being charged in a scheme in which students entered institutions like Yale and the University of Southern California, in some cases by conspiring with coaches to pose as elite athletes, in other cases by plain ‘ole bribes.

If we may take a meta moment: as a Jewish pop culture page, the Schmooze spends the larger part of its waking hours on Jewish twitter. Rarely, if ever, have we seen such an outburst of pure indignation on that platform as we saw in response to the news of the college scandal.

Perhaps it’s our pent up fury and hurt over the fact that many American institutes of higher learning — including Yale and USCkept out Jews for years using quotas until as late as the 1960s, reasoning that, (as Harvard’s president A. Laurence Lowell did,) too many Jews would “ruin the college.”

Perhaps it’s because education is a deeply held Jewish value, and the university system has historically been a stepping stone for American Jews seeking social advancement.

Maybe we’re just sick and tired of the Ilhan Omar controversy.

And maybe we just love the drama.

But the Jews had what to say about the college scam. Here were some of the best of the best takes.

From actor Richard Dreyfuss’ son:

From Billy Eichner, Judith Light acolyte:

From Jewish crime scion Randy Rainbow:

From “Jimmy Kimmel” writer, a taste of emet:

Billy Eichner, again:

From a galactic perspective:

From a writer for the New Yorker:

From Sarah Silverman:

From a man who has very good tweets on this topic, Billy Eichner:

From an honest perspective:

As a drug:

From the perspective of not what we need, but what we deserve:

From reality:

An important perspective on Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy:

Jenny Singer is the deputy life/features editor for the Forward. You can reach her at [email protected] or on Twitter @jeanvaljenny


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