Time to go to the gym! Grab your sneakers, your water bottle, your headphones or earbuds or air pods. And don’t forget to slip on your Tisha B’Av Jewish Rabbi Yoga Pants Gym Leggings.
That bizarro word salad represents, apparently, a product sold by the e-commerce giant Amazon. Tisha B’av, known as the saddest day of the year for Jews, is a day of fasting in commemoration of the ancient destruction of the holy Temples of Jerusalem, as well as other losses and horrors throughout Jewish history.
The holiday — the name of which translates to “The 9th of Av,” meaning the ninth day of the Hebrew month of Av — fell earlier this week. On Tisha B’av, an observant person is supposed to think sad thoughts, wear dirty clothes, and generally act as if it is the end of the world. But this year, as in the past, Amazon is hawking Tisha B’av leggings.
The leggings — which have zero reviews on the site — come in nine versions: Tisha B’av Blue, Tisha B’av Hanukkah, Tisha B’av Hebrew, Tisha B’av Jewish, Tisha B’av Kosher, Tisha B’av Kosher-1, Tisha B’av Mod, and Tisha B’av Passover. There is also a version called “School bus” that does not appear to relate to Tisha B’av at all. Though you’d be hard pressed to find any connection between the day of mourning Jewish tragedy and any of these pants — “Tisha B’Av Jewish” is a print of a cartoon of a Hassidic man, while “Tisha B’av Passover” combines pyramids, palm trees, a menorah, and the Hebrew word “Pesach.” They’re not cheap, either — their price ranges inexplicably from $27.23-$39.51.
And though the Amazon algorithm claims that “Customers who bought this item also bought” the Yossi Klein Halevi book “Letters To My Palestinian Neighbor,” these products look shady. They’re distributed by a company called PDAQs, which offers a number of crude graphic designs, and then prints them to order on products like shoes, leggings, and hats. The leggings are an attempt to market to Jewish people that clearly involve no Jews.
Not so for other Tisha B’av apparel on Amazon. The “Tisha B’Av Israelite Hebrew May we no longer Cry Long Sleeve” t-shirt, for instance, is a closer fit. Best of all are shirts that proclaim “EZFast Tisha B’av” and ones that say in Hebrew “Lo Aphilu Lo Mayim,” which means “No, not even water” — which a person fasting for Tisha B’av might boast, and then choose to immortalize on a t-shirt.
Actually, that’s not the best. Next Tisha B’av is only a year away, so plenty of time to receive this perfect product: “Unicorns Farting Tisha B’Av Hanukkah Jewish Menorah Women’s Printed Nightdress Scoopneck Nightwear Short Sleeve Nightshirt.”
Wear it in good health.
What? Amazon Makes ‘Tisha B’Av Jewish Rabbi Yoga Pants’